English+ check!!!

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from informal to formal:
Informal: After work, Rebecca hung with her friends for a bit. Nothing much happening. She should of headed off to the store for dinner, but instead she grabbed some junk food. Killed some time by checking out a softball game in the park.
formal: After a long day at work, Rebecca lingered with her co-workers. Nothing exciting happened. She ought to have gone to the store for dinner, but instead purchased an assortment of snack food. Rebecca then went to the park to watch softball for her own amusement.

is this correct? my answer is the formal one!
Question#2

formal: Drive your automobile into the parking garage and engage the emergency brake before you exit the vehicle. Notify the attendant regarding your anticipated whereabouts during your absence from the parking facility. Authorize the attendant to relocate your vehicle in the event that it is impeding the motion of another vehicle.
informal:Drive your car into the garage and put on the emergency brake before you leave the car. Tell the person in charge in this case the attendant, of your possible location while you are gone from the building. Allow your teacher to move your vehicle in case it is blocking another car.

my answer is the informal! is this right?

The first one (informal to formal) sounds good.

The second one (formal to informal) sounds OK, except for a couple of things:
1. "of your possible location" is still rather stuffy; try "where you'll be" and delete "from the building."
2. in the last sentence. "Allow your teacher" <~~your teacher???

There also needs to be a comma after "person in charge" in the second sentence.

=)

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