again english help

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Ondaatje’s work in “The English Patient is so beautiful and absolute that every sentence in his book has a sense of power in its meaning. His novel gives us mysterious and memorable tales of his characters’ lives. Instead of presenting the story in present tense, he informs the reader that the novel is nothing but a narrative. His narrative structure involves in moving through present, past and future events during the whole novel. He makes people feel as if the story is actually happening as they read along. The beauty of Ondaatje’s writing and his imagination is what attracts people to read his novels.


This is my other paragraph and i had trouble with this. I can't seem to put what i want to say in sentences that make sense. so please help me


<<Ondaatje’s work in “The English Patient is so beautiful and absolute that every sentence in his book has a sense of power in its meaning. His novel gives us mysterious and memorable tales of his characters’ lives. Instead of presenting the story in present tense, he informs the reader that the novel is nothing but a narrative. His narrative structure involves in moving through present, past and future events during the whole novel. He makes people feel as if the story is actually happening as they read along. The beauty of Ondaatje’s writing and his imagination is what attracts people to read his novels.>>

It is two AM here, and for the life of me, I cant figure out what it is that you want to say.
Perhaps the overuse of the term beauty is what is tripping me up. Perhaps it is mixing the concepts of power in writing being mixed with style, I am uncerain. To me, this work has emotional power, and that is what is its attraction. Ondaatje did not let style (narrative) interfere with the work, in fact, style made the story more vivid, as one lived the story as it is read. Is that what you mean?
After reading several of your posts, I am going to offer some suggestions for your written work:
First: Outline your thoughts. this helps organize and clarify them.
Second: Work on your thesis sentence. Put effort and thought, and revision, into that.
Third: From your outline, develop a thesis sentence for each paragraph.
Fourth: Take your first draft, put it away for at least a day before you come back and red line it. Make corrections to each paragraph at that time.

Good luck.


Ondaatje’s work in The English Patient is so beautiful and absolute<~~what?? absolute what?? that every sentence in his book has a sense of power in its meaning. His novel gives us mysterious and memorable tales of his characters’ lives. Instead of presenting the story in present tense, he informs the reader that the novel is nothing but a narrative.<~~what? I don't understand what this means. All stories (long or short) are narratives. What does "nothing but a narrative" mean? His narrative structure involves in<~~delete "in" moving through present, past<~~add comma and future events during the whole novel. He makes people feel as if the story is actually happening as they read along. The beauty of Ondaatje’s writing and his imagination is what attracts people to read his novels.


This is my other paragraph and i had trouble with this. I can't seem to put what i want to say in sentences that make sense. so please help me

I hope this helps. Clearly this paragraph needs work!

=)

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