Hello, can someone tell me how this sounds so far? ( not done with essay ) I need someone to tell me how it sounds and if I need to add/get rid of something. Thank you.
( ESSAY QUESTION-global affairs* How has immigration affected the international diversity found in the selected state Mississippi?)
The Global affairs of Mississippi have played numerous roles in the state's international, political and economic affairs tremendously. A good example is how Mississippi has homed a growing number of immigrants. Immigrants are foreign-born residents that live in a country other than his or her birthplace. In Mississippi a high number of immigrants are from Mexico, Usually, the reason to move is to get away from violence, terrorism, gang violence, unsafe living conditions, or extreme poverty. More than 82% come from Mexico and 78% come from the Caribbean. Because of so many people coming to Mississippi for a better life, Immigrants have become a key point in Mississippi. And are a crucial part of the state and its labor force, especially in certain districts. For example, 7 percent of employees in Mississippi’s, physical, and social science residents are immigrants. As business owners, taxpayers, and employees, immigrants are a fundamental part of Mississippi’s diverse and flourishing communities and make extensive contributions that benefit all. Without immigrants, Mississippis' workforce would definitely plummet by more than 39 percent. In Mississippi, Industries such as food preparation, manufacturing, healthcare, social assistance, construction, and education are all the most populated and popular jobs for most immigrants. Giving good pay and insurance. In conclusion, Immigration has affected international diversity in Mississippi in more than a positive way, giving jobs, housing, and food.
Overall, your essay on how immigration has affected the international diversity in Mississippi is well-written and provides a good overview of the topic. However, here are a few suggestions to improve and enhance your essay:
1. Consider providing some background information on the selected state, Mississippi, at the beginning of your essay. This will help set the context and provide a better understanding of the state's global affairs.
2. Instead of starting the essay with a general statement about the global affairs of Mississippi, try to introduce the specific aspect of immigration and its impact on international diversity right from the beginning. This will help focus your essay and provide a clear structure.
3. While you mention that Mississippi has homed a growing number of immigrants, it would be beneficial to include some statistics or data to support this claim. This will make your essay more credible and evidence-based.
4. Provide additional explanation or examples to support your statement that immigrants are a crucial part of the state and its labor force. You mention that immigrants make significant contributions, but it would help to provide more specific examples or data to highlight their impact on various industries.
5. Consider exploring the cultural and social impact of immigration in addition to the economic impact. How has immigration affected the diversity of traditions, languages, and perspectives in Mississippi? Are there any challenges or benefits that arise from this diversity?
6. In your conclusion, restate your main points and highlight the positive impacts of immigration on international diversity in Mississippi. Consider adding a sentence or two to wrap up your essay and provide a final thought.
Remember to proofread your essay for grammar and spelling errors and to make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to another.
By incorporating these suggestions and further developing the points in your essay, you will provide a more comprehensive and detailed analysis of how immigration has affected international diversity in Mississippi.