Tackle football. I started playing when I was nine years old, and football got me through. It helped make me who I am today. And even though I did not reach the National Football League, I sometimes think I got more from pursuing that dream, and not accomplishing it, then I did from many of the ones I did accomplish.
My romance with football started when my dad dragged me, kicking and screaming, to join a league. I had no desire to be there. I was naturally wimpy, and the smallest kid by far. Fear turned to awe when I met my coach, Jim Graham, a hulking, six-foot-four wall-of-a-guy. He had been a line- backer at Penn State, and was seriously old-school. I mean, really old-school; like he thought the forward pass was a trick play.
On the first day of practice, we were all scared to death. Plus he hadn’t brought along any footballs. One kid finally spoke up for all of us. “Excuse me, Coach. There are no foot- balls.” And Coach Graham responded, “We don’t need any foot- balls.”
There was a silence, while we thought about that . . .
“How many men are on the football field at a time?” he asked us.
Eleven on a team, we answered. So that makes twenty- two.
“And how many people are touching the football at any given time?”
One of them.
“Right!” he said. “So we’re going to work on what those other twenty-one guys are doing.”
Fundamentals. That was a great gift Coach Graham gave us. Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals. As a college professor, I’ve seen this as one lesson so many kids ignore, al- ways to their detriment: You’ve got to get the fundamentals down, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work.
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Coach Graham used to ride me hard. I remember one prac-
tice in particular. “You’re doing it all wrong, Pausch. Go back! Do it again!” I tried to do what he wanted. It wasn’t enough. “You owe me, Pausch! You’re doing push-ups after practice.”
When I was finally dismissed, one of the assistant coaches came over to reassure me. “Coach Graham rode you pretty hard, didn’t he?” he said.
I could barely muster a “yeah.”
“That’s a good thing,” the assistant told me. “When you’re screwing up and nobody says anything to you any- more, that means they’ve given up on you.”
That lesson has stuck with me my whole life. When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a bad place to be. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.
There’s a lot of talk these days about giving children self- esteem. It’s not something you can give; it’s something they have to build. Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone. Self-esteem? He knew there was really only one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them something they can’t do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.
When Coach Graham first got hold of me, I was this wimpy kid with no skills, no physical strength, and no condi- tioning. But he made me realize that if I work hard enough, there will be things I can do tomorrow that I can’t do today. Even now, having just turned forty-seven, I can give you a three-point stance that any NFL lineman would be proud of.
I realize that, these days, a guy like Coach Graham might get thrown out of a youth sports league. He’d be too tough. Parents would complain.
I remember one game when our team was playing terribly. At halftime, in our rush for water, we almost knocked over the water bucket. Coach Graham was livid: “Jeez! That’s the most I’ve seen you boys move since this game started!” We were eleven years old, just standing there, afraid he’d pick us up one by one and break us with his bare hands. “Water?” he barked. “You boys want water?” He lifted the bucket and dumped all the water on the ground.
We watched him walk away and heard him mutter to an assistant coach: “You can give water to the first-string defense. They played OK.”
Now let me be clear: Coach Graham would never endan- ger any kid. One reason he worked so hard on conditioning was he knew it reduces injuries. However, it was a chilly day, we’d all had access to water during the first half, and the dash to the water bucket was more about us being a bunch of brats than really needing hydration.
Even so, if that kind of incident happened today, parents on the sidelines would be pulling out their cell phones to call the league commissioner, or maybe their lawyer.
It saddens me that many kids today are so coddled. I think back to how I felt during that halftime rant. Yes, I was thirsty. But more than that, I felt humiliated. We had all let down Coach Graham, and he let us know it in a way we’d never for- get. He was right. We had shown more energy at the water bucket than we had in the damn game. And getting chewed out by him meant something to us. During the second half, we went back on the field, and gave it our all.
I haven’t seen Coach Graham since I was a teen, but he just keeps showing up in my head, forcing me to work harder whenever I feel like quitting, forcing me to be better. He gave me a feedback loop for life. When we send our kids to play organized sports—football, soccer, swimming, whatever—for most of us, it’s not because
we’re desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport. What we really want them to learn is far more important: teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity. This kind of indirect
learning is what some of us like to call a “head fake.”
There are two kinds of head fakes. The first is literal. On a football field, a player will move his head one way so you’ll think he’s going in that direction. Then he goes the opposite way. It’s like a magician using misdirection. Coach Graham used to tell us to watch a player’s waist. “Where his belly but-
ton goes, his body goes,” he’d say.
The second kind of head fake is the really important
one—the one that teaches people things they don’t realize they’re learning until well into the process. If you’re a head- fake specialist, your hidden objective is to get them to learn something you want them to learn.
This kind of head-fake learning is absolutely vital. And Coach Graham was the master.
He knew that by teaching us the fundamentals of football, he was really teaching us the fundamentals of life. He was teaching us how to work hard, how to push ourselves beyond our limits, and how to deal with failure and adversity.
I may not have made it to the NFL, but the lessons I learned from playing football have stayed with me. I learned the value of hard work and perseverance, the importance of teamwork and sportsmanship, and how to deal with criticism and adversity. These lessons have carried over into every aspect of my life, making me a better person and helping me to succeed in ways I never imagined.
So thank you, Coach Graham, for pushing me, for believing in me, and for teaching me the valuable lessons that have shaped who I am today. Football may have been just a game, but the impact it had on my life is immeasurable.
Quote from Memoir
Analysis (1-3 sentences explaining why you chose those quotes. BE THOROUGH!!!)
Setting Try to identify some of the elements we discussed in our setting mini lesson. Narrator’s Tone Is the author serious, comical, sad, happy, etc.?
Important Dialogue Tell me some quotes from the passage that are impactful to the message of the memoir. Critique/Opinion (Your personal opinion about the piece- include an explanation) 2-3 sentences
Quote from Memoir: "Fundamentals. That was a great gift Coach Graham gave us. Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals."
Analysis: I chose this quote because it highlights the importance of the fundamentals in both football and life. The author emphasizes that mastering the basics is essential for success in any endeavor, showing Coach Graham's influence beyond the football field.
Setting: The setting of the memoir is in a youth football league, where the author first starts playing tackle football. The setting includes the football field, the practices, and the halftime rant by Coach Graham. The setting helps to establish the atmosphere of hard work, discipline, and perseverance that is key to the author's personal growth.
Narrator's Tone: The author's tone is nostalgic and appreciative. The tone reflects on the impact Coach Graham had on the author's life, with a sense of gratitude and respect for the lessons learned through football.
Important Dialogue: "You owe me, Pausch! You’re doing push-ups after practice." This dialogue highlights the tough love approach of Coach Graham, emphasizing the importance of hard work and accountability in achieving success. It shows how discipline and dedication were instilled in the author through football.
Critique/Opinion: The memoir resonated with me on a personal level, as it reminded me of the valuable lessons I learned through sports in my own life. The emphasis on hard work, perseverance, and learning from failure is a universal message that can inspire readers to push themselves beyond their limits. I appreciated the author's reflection on the impact of youth sports and the role of mentors like Coach Graham in shaping character and resilience.
Analysis (1-3 sentences explaining why you chose those quotes. BE THOROUGH!!!)
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I apologize for the oversight in my response. Here is a more thorough analysis of why I chose the quotes in the previous response:
1. Quote: "Fundamentals. That was a great gift Coach Graham gave us. Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals."
Analysis: This quote was chosen because it encapsulates the core message of the memoir - the importance of mastering the basics and fundamentals in both football and life. It reflects the lasting impact of Coach Graham's teachings on the author's mindset and approach to challenges.
2. Quote: "You owe me, Pausch! You’re doing push-ups after practice."
Analysis: This dialogue was selected because it exemplifies the tough, yet motivating, coaching style of Coach Graham. It highlights the emphasis on hard work, accountability, and pushing oneself beyond one's limits to achieve success. The quote underscores the discipline instilled in the author through football.
3. Quote: "There are two kinds of head fakes. The first is literal. On a football field, a player will move his head one way so you’ll think he’s going in that direction. Then he goes the opposite way."
Analysis: This quote was included because it introduces the concept of head fakes in football, but also metaphorically extends to life lessons. It illustrates the idea of misdirection and the importance of being adaptable, strategic, and always willing to learn and grow. The quote reveals the depth of the lessons taught by Coach Graham that transcend the football field.