Task: read the feedback example below.
A) Does it use the feedback sandwich model?
B) How could this feedback be improved?
Give some feedback regarding their story.
That sounds awesome.
Something you like:
I really like the setting. I love
how it feels like hope is lost - it
matches that horror feel.
Something you don't like: I don't like your main character's
A suggestion:
name most of all - it sounds like
a bit of a joke and makes the horror not so scary.
If I were you, I'd focus more on the character's name and keeping his family in the story so their deaths hit harder.
A) Yes, the feedback provided does use the feedback sandwich model. This common method of giving constructive criticism sandwiches a piece of negative feedback between two pieces of positive feedback.
In the example provided:
1. Positive Feedback: "That sounds awesome. I really like the setting. I love how it feels like hope is lost - it matches that horror feel."
2. Constructive Criticism: "I don't like your main character's name most of all - it sounds like a bit of a joke and makes the horror not so scary."
3. Positive/Constructive Suggestion: "If I were you, I'd focus more on the character's name and keeping his family in the story so their deaths hit harder."
B) The feedback could be improved in several ways:
- The positive components could be more detailed. Instead of a general statement like "That sounds awesome," specifying what exactly is awesome would be more helpful for the recipient to understand what works.
- The criticism about the character's name is directly stated as a personal dislike, which can be perceived as insensitive. It could be more tactful and objective. For example, "The main character's name seems to clash with the tone of the horror story, which might inadvertently lighten the mood rather than contribute to the tension."
- The suggestion could be clearer and more action-oriented. Instead of just saying focus on the name and keeping the family in the story, it could provide an example or direction, such as "Consider revising the character's name to something that evokes more of the intended fear and ensure that the family's presence in the story builds up towards their demise for greater impact."
- Ensure that the feedback is balanced. While it follows the sandwich model, the criticism is quite brief. Expanding a little more about why the character's name doesn't work and what kind of names might be more suitable within the context of a horror narrative could provide more valuable insight.
- Lastly, encourage the recipient by affirming their strengths, while ensuring that the critical portion of the feedback is constructive and actionable, aiming to empower the recipient to make effective changes.
please shorten into dot points
- Uses feedback sandwich model: starts and ends with positive remarks, with criticism in the middle.
- Positive feedback needs more detail; specify what aspects are awesome.
- Criticism should be less personal and more objective; suggest revising the character's name to fit the horror tone.
- Suggestions could be clearer; provide examples or clearer directions for improvement.
- Ensure balanced feedback; expand on criticism with actionable advice.
- Offer encouragement and empower the recipient to make effective changes.
To determine if this feedback example uses the feedback sandwich model, we need to see if it includes a positive comment, a constructive criticism, and another positive comment.
In this feedback example, we can identify the following components:
1. Positive comment: "I really like the setting. I love how it feels like hope is lost - it matches that horror feel."
2. Constructive criticism: "I don't like your main character's name most of all - it sounds like a bit of a joke and makes the horror not so scary."
3. Another positive comment: "If I were you, I'd focus more on the character's name and keeping his family in the story so their deaths hit harder."
Considering these components, we can conclude that this feedback example does use the feedback sandwich model.
As for how this feedback could be improved, here are a few suggestions:
1. Provide specific examples or evidence to support the positive comment. Instead of simply stating that the setting is great, explain why it creates a sense of hopelessness and matches the horror theme.
2. Offer more specific recommendations or suggestions for improvement. Instead of just saying you don't like the main character's name, provide some alternatives or explain how a different name can enhance the horror aspect.
3. Include more clarity in the suggestion. Instead of a vague statement like "keeping his family in the story," provide specific details or ideas on how their presence or involvement can make the deaths more impactful.
Improving the feedback in these ways can make it more constructive, actionable, and valuable for the recipient.