Make this look like a 5th grader wrote it
When Jeremy becomes obsessed with the virtual world, he must face the consequences of his actions and decide what is truly important in life.
When this dude Jeremy gets way too into the virtual world, he's gotta deal with what happens 'cause of it and figure out what really matters in life.
still make it proper.
When Jeremy gets super duper obsessed with the virtual world, he has to face the results of his choices and decide on what's really important in life.
dont use super duper
When Jeremy gets really, really obsessed with the virtual world, he has to face the consequences of his actions and figure out what's truly important in life.
Sure! Here's a simplified version a 5th grader might write:
"When Jeremy really, really likes playing in the pretend online world, he learns that there can be bad things that happen because of it. He has to think about what's really important in his real life."