How good is this intro paragraph?
In our world, there are many things that can be accepted as “good” or “bad”. When unfair or bad laws are made, some people want to enforce it because it benefits themselves, not others. Sometimes, a law can be broken or changed when the majority of the people don’t like it or the problem doesn't matter anymore. If you want a rule/law to be stopped, you need to have a good reason. I will now elaborate more on this thought.
Lose the quotation marks.
Exactly who are “some people”?
What is “it” in the second sentence — twice?
You need to find a better word to replace “broken or changed” and “stopped.”
Omit the last sentence.
here it is.
In our world, there are many things that can be accepted as good or bad. When unfair or bad laws are made, a specific person or people want to enforce it because it benefits themselves, not others. Sometimes, a law can be deleyted or altered when the majority of the people don’t like it or the problem doesn't matter anymore. If you want a rule/law to be gone and away, you need to have a good reason. In the following paragraphs, I will explain this information in detail.
Your introduction loses me on what your thesis is. It is a little wordy without really saying anything. Try something like this:
In todays society we experience many different laws that can be defined as either good or bad. There is a process that must be followed in order to put something into law or to remove it from law. But just like anything else one must first identify the problem then decide if a law needs to be put into place. And then there are times when a law seems like its a good idea until practiced and we actually create more ourselves more problems.
Determining the quality of an intro paragraph is subjective and can vary depending on the context and purpose of the writing. However, there are some aspects you can consider to assess its effectiveness.
1. Purpose: Evaluate whether the intro paragraph effectively sets up the purpose or main idea of the essay or article it prefaces. Does it provide a clear indication of what will be discussed further in the text?
2. Clarity and coherence: Assess the paragraph's clarity in conveying ideas and its coherence in smoothly connecting different thoughts. Is the language concise and easy to understand? Do the sentences flow logically and build upon each other?
3. Engagement: Consider whether the intro paragraph captures the reader's attention and generates interest in the topic. Does it use compelling or thought-provoking statements? Does it present a unique perspective or raise questions that pique curiosity?
4. Organization: Examine how well the paragraph is structured and ordered. Does it follow a logical progression from general to specific or from specific to general? Are the ideas presented in a coherent and systematic manner?
Based on these criteria, assess the quality of the intro paragraph in question.