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Did you understand my thesis because I meant that families and not the communities should impose curfews because it is more flexible ( freedom or not)?

  • Writing -

    How to write an introduction:
    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/intro.html
    and
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/intros.htm

    How to write a thesis statement:
    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

    Now let's take a look at your most recent intro:
    High school students are known for their "out of control behavior". <~~This is a vast generalization. =( You are saying that all high school students are out of control?
    Communities are considering to adopt curfews for high school students.<~~Many towns and cities in this country already have curfews; they don't have to consider.
    On the contrary, others think that it is up to the family and that not having curfews can possibly be a good thing. <~~This sentence doesn't make good sense. Also "can" and "possibly" mean the same thing; cut out redundancy.
    Although it is important to restrict high school students, the communities should leave it up to the family. <~~Is this your thesis statement?
    Hence, communities should not impose curfews on high school students. <~~If this is not your thesis statement, then delete it.

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