posted by HM on .
I AM DONE WITH MY ESSAY :
Could some one please read it and tell me if it is correct
Illustration essay: A successful student
The value of education has really fallen in the past years, some say college is hard to cope up with and some do not even bother trying. The truth is college is not that hard and there only two essential steps needed to overcome this thought of despair. Thus those two easy steps to becoming a successful college student is being punctual to class and dedicated to your work.
For instance if a student is punctual, he or she attends class daily. Therefore attending class daily not only shows your loyalty to the course but also benefits you if the class has attendance grades. Moreover when a student is in class every time, he hears the teacher present each lesson in its original form, and he also hears all the questions students might ask, as well as the teacher's answers. This interchange of information when a lesson is first given cannot be duplicated. Any absent students will miss out on all that interaction, and they most likely won't have their own questions answered either. Nevertheless that direct interaction with the teacher can help you dig out information about extra credit work and not miss out on bonus quizzes. When you attend class everyday you are more likely to be updated and reminded of the upcoming assignments and thus you always submit your work time. Due to this promptness you are more likely to form a bond with your teacher and peers which results in more dedication and interest in the course and greater quality work. Attendance to class really does matter as promptitude creates trust and loyalty within a person.
Another great quality a student can have is dedication to his or her course work. To illustrate that, mathematics was never my forte and I would constantly be procrastinating homework and failed on every attempt. It was until I realized that it was not me who lacked the ability but my mere thought of not being able. Thus I started making my self believe that I was good at math and started spending sufficient time on learning new techniques hence in no time I received an A in my class and my teacher was very impressed. Moreover when you love what you do, you further involve you self in the course, you become more closer to the faculty and all of this makes it more likely for you to produce better quality work, which eventually results in high grades. Not only does it increase your grades but professors who observe your dedication are also impressed and thence write good recommendation letters. Another example would be a clerk, when a clerk loves the work he is assigned. He is more likely to impress his boss and keep his peers happy. This results in promotions and salary rises, similar to high grades and high GPA for successful students.
In conclusion being punctual to class keeps you on track and dedicated to the course makes you more knowledgeable of the subject. Thus acquiring both of these qualities does not only make you a successful college student but also helps you train for your future.
1. First of all, herre is a run-on sentence: "years, some " Either make 2 separate sentences or use a semicolon where you have the comma.
2. You need a verb in: "there only" such as "there are only"
3. Here the subject is plural, not singular: "student is being " = are
4. You could use a comma after "Thus," in the first paragraph and "instance," in the 2nd, as well as "Therefore," and "Moreover" as well.
5. If you read this essay outloud, you should catch many errors, for example: "your work time." = your work ON time
6. Comma after "Due to this promptness,"
7. For a parallel construction: "and failed" = and failing
8. "it was not me" = Predicate Nominative "it was not I"
9. In the next sentence: "Thus," and "myself" = comma and one word
10. "techniques hence" = "techniques hence" = another punctuation error. 2 sentences or semicolon.
11. "you self " = "yourself" plus a run-on sentence right after that, before ",you"
12. "more closer" = just "closer"
13. "rises," = rise is verb but raise is the noun = raises
14. "being punctual" seems better to also say "being deicated"
15. knowledgeable OF or IN?
16. Thus, (comma)
Thank you Miss Sra.
I will work on it, and post it again tomorrow.