Posted by Franco on .
I just want you to check my word choice. There are a few sentences I rephrased I'm not sure of.(Sentences 2.3.4). I really hope you'll help me improve my writing skills.
Thank you for your help.
1) His father was a German from Bremen, who first settled in Hull and then came to live and work in York where he married Robinson’s mother, who was English. His mother’s family name was Robinson, so when he was born, they called him Robinson Kreutznaer, after her. However, in England they corrupted Kreutznaer into Crusoe, so his friends always called him Crusoe.
2) “ As he was not bred to any trade, his head began to be filled very early with rambling thought”s.
Rephrase: As he had not been trained for any trade, he let his mind wander aimlessly (?)
3) “His old father had given me a competent share of learning, as far as house-education and a country-free school generally goes, and designed me for the law”
Rephrase: As he wanted him to study law, his father had allowed him to receive house-education (or had given him house-education?) and had him attend a country-free school.
4) His father was a wise and responsible man, who was “confined by the gout” (rephrase. Who suffered from gout.
5) As he foresaw Robinson wanted to go to sea, he called him once morning to his room and tried to persuade him out of his intention.
6) Actually, he told him that if he stayed at home, he would have a change to improve his social condition by application and work. Furthermore, he could live in comfort and pleasure.
I don't know what a "country-free school" is -- a school that's independent of any country?? I think all you need to do is to delete the hyphen.
In #5, "one morning" and "tried to dissuade him."
In #6, I don't know what "he would have a change" means.
Everything else sounds fine.