What is wrong with this sentence. Grammar wise...

If he cannot attend the game, an elemental fan, according to an article in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED entitled "Buck Wild For The Bucks", will watch the game on TV with family or friends.

it sounds like a run on sentence.

does it not sound better if it was like this:

An elemental fan will watch the game on TV with family or friends if he cannot attend the game, according to an article in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED entitled "Buck Wild For The Bucks."

The sentence is technically correct. It's not a run on sentence, although as Maximillion stated, it sounds like a run on because of so many phrases.

Maximillion has a good solution to making the sentence clearer.

Grammar included:

An elemental fan will watch the game on TV, with family or friends, if he cannot attend the game; according to an article in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED entitled "Buck Wild For The Bucks."

Maximillion -- you were right the first time. You need a comma, not a semicolon, after game.

The sentence you provided has a couple of grammar issues. Specifically, there are problems with parallelism and capitalization. Here's the corrected version of the sentence:

If he cannot attend the game, an enthusiastic fan, according to an article in Sports Illustrated entitled "Buck Wild for the Bucks," will watch the game on TV with family or friends.

Explanation:

1. Parallelism: In this sentence, there is a lack of parallel structure when describing the fan. To fix this, we need to change "an elemental fan" to "an enthusiastic fan." This ensures that both descriptions use the same structure and are grammatically consistent.

2. Capitalization: The title of the article, "Buck Wild For The Bucks," should follow standard title capitalization rules. This means that only significant words should be capitalized, such as "Buck" and "Bucks." The prepositions "For" and "The" should be lowercase unless they are the first or last word of the title.

Remember, when proofreading for grammar issues, it's important to check for parallelism, capitalization rules, punctuation, verb agreement, and overall sentence structure.