Hi, I really need help concluding my essay on Othello. My thesis is:
The worldly Emilia and Bianca create a strong contrast against the virtuous and innocent Desdemona, reinforcing the tragedy of her death and Othello's crime.
What I have for my conclusion is:
In conclusion, Emilia and Bianca’s characters make Desdemona’s character stand out boldly. Her virtuous and innocent traits against Bianca and Emilia’s worldly views reinforce the tragedy of Desdemona’s death and Othello's crime against her. Throughout this paper, the evidence shown has proved Desdemona’s love and forgiveness toward Othello. When Othello murdered Desdemona, you can see at the end how she was still trying to prove herself and it was augmented by her innocence.
I know this is a lot to ask, but I really need help with this!
Thank you so much in advance!! :)
1. Need: Use the right prepositions:
~ ... create a strong contrast with the virtuous and innocent Desdemona ...
~ Use something other than "toward" in the third sentence of the conclusion.
2. Suggestion: Use the term "foil" in the second sentence of the conclusion.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foil_(literature)
3. Need: Figure out how to rephrase so you don't use "In conclusion" and "Throughout this paper the evidence shown..."
4. Need: Make sure the verbs are in present tense when you're writing a paper about literature.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/literature.htm
(first paragraph below the formatting graphic)
5. Need: Get rid of all instances of "you" in all its forms.
Thank you this really helped!!
You're very welcome!
Your conclusion is a good summary of your thesis and the points you have made in your essay. However, there are a few suggestions I can offer to improve the clarity and effectiveness of your conclusion:
1. Restate your thesis: Begin your conclusion by restating your thesis, summarizing the main point you have argued throughout your essay. This will remind your reader of the main focus and purpose of your essay.
2. Recap the main points: Provide a brief summary of the main points and evidence you have discussed in your essay. This will reinforce your argument and remind the reader of the key supporting ideas.
3. Emphasize the significance: Explain the significance of your argument in relation to the larger themes or messages of the play. How does the contrast between Desdemona, Emilia, and Bianca contribute to the tragedy of Desdemona's death and Othello's crime? This will help the reader understand the broader implications of your analysis.
4. Final thoughts: End your conclusion with some final thoughts or reflections. You could briefly discuss the implications of your argument or the relevance of your analysis to a broader context. This will give your conclusion a sense of closure and leave the reader with something to think about.
Based on these suggestions, here is a revised version of your conclusion:
In conclusion, the contrast between the worldly Emilia and Bianca and the virtuous and innocent Desdemona serves to highlight the tragedy of Desdemona's death and Othello's crime. Throughout this essay, we have examined the evidence of Desdemona's love and forgiveness towards Othello, even in the face of his violent actions. The stark contrast between Desdemona's moral character and the worldly views of Emilia and Bianca accentuates the tragic nature of her fate. Furthermore, this examination of character dynamics sheds light on the plays' larger themes of jealousy, manipulation, and the destructive consequences of unchecked emotions. As we reflect on the ultimate irony of Desdemona's innocence being both her strength and her downfall, we are reminded of the timeless relevance of Shakespeare's exploration of human nature and the consequences of our actions.
I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any further questions.