english-essay

Can someone correct this essay please?Thanks:)

This kind of book does not allow you to take just one part of it and discuss it. The whole book was really interesting. I just could not stop reading it. What i find the most fascinating is this feeling i had all the time. But something really caught my attention, and that is the mind of The Mastermind. We are watching television every day, movies, series etc.The Mastermind exists unfortunately. There is always such kind of people who are sick and who are doing sick things. He raped some girls in the book, he killed so many innocent people especially mothers and kids. And this is not fiction, this is really happening in the world.
I saw what was happening inside of his head, what he was thinking about and how he enjoyed everything he did. I wonder what must happen in one's head that person becomes an animal. In the book he enjoyed hurting people, he even poisoned some and than watched them dying. After each murder and torcher he needed more. What is really happening in the mind of the killer? All of these people, young and old, white and minority, middle class and poor, share characteristics which transformes them from average citizens to coldblooded killers. Our main protagonist tried to understand how The Mastermind was thinking. But he could not. For us, normal people, there is no way to understand behaviour of killers.
I was fascinated how a killer can plan murders and robberies in every little detail, have a sick mind and never be caught, not even be a suspect. He had also some brilliant ideas, he knew almost everything, he was smart. He also knew how not to make a mistake but also knew how to hurt people, his friends were not an exception. Couple of times he described exactly what he did and that part of book was hard to read, because you have to imagine his movements and you have to imagine him. But that is the way how killers behave. They are always such a nice people. We can also see that on the television, in case of kidnappers who confuse children by being so nice and pleasant that children believe them. Probably deep inside they want to be caught. In the first place they were probably children without parents, without friends, without any attention and love. And what they want is to be in the limelight. The Mastermind also wanted attention, and he got a lot if it. He was always pleased with how everything was progressing. He wished he could have been at both, robbing banks and killing those people himself. In his mind, he imagines the sight and smell of the murders and relishes in it.
He was constantly looking for the next recruits. He was smart and very professional. I think he didn’t know what is right and what is wrong. His view was either everything is right or everything is wrong. He could never express his own feelings. He didn’t understand his actions and was not sure about his thoughts. He was living in his own world, world which we normal people cannot understand. But every human being choose his path. We choose to move forward or to simply give up. H.L. Mencken wrote, "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." Is that true? Does every human being have to snap from time to time? Was The Mastermind once a normal human being, our neighbour, our friend? We are surrounded by normal people. But what is normal? Do we have to hope that we are normal? Is this life just a big mistake? Are we loosing our mind? And once you lose yourself, you have two choices: Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely.
At this moment, there are 6,502,867,120 people in the world. Give or take a few. And sometimes all you need is one for better or for worse. And that is sometimes our neighbour or friend. There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads, like The Mastermind did. The choices he made in those moments have define the rest of his life. He let the time take it all. That is why I took this aspect of the book, it was most thought- provoking and intriguing. It is only when you are tested that you truly discover who you are and who you can be. George Eliot once wrote,"There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and be healed, to have despaired and recovered hope." Do we live to suffer? Are we all in the end the same? Henry James wrote,"Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living,and your belief will help create the fact". There will always be something to win and to lose, to ruin our lives, it all depends on what or which finds us first.


I'll be able to proof your paper in the afternoon, but first off, would you redo the first paragraph and get the title and author of the book you're referring to in there? To refer to a book without naming it is very confusing.

Thanks.

=)

the titile is Roses are Red and the author is James Patterson
:) Thank you i'll write that in my first paragraph


Tull, Lets start with your introduction.

1) You never say what the name of the book is. That needs to be somewhere in the first paragraph.

2) I would begin this by taking the last sentence of this paragraph which is a GREAT attention grabber, and adding the title and author of the book. eg. "Title" is not fiction; this is really happening in the world today. There is always sick people in the news who are doing sick things."

3) Then I would say something like "author", has written a book that does not allow you to just take one part of it to discuss. The whole book was .......etc"

4) I am going to send you a site for developing a book review. Please work on it and I will be happy to help you further.
http://library.concordia.ca/help/howto/bookreports.html
http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/book_reviews.shtml

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