Hi!
I'm writing an essay about how women act according to male or female domination. Could you please look at my magic thesis and tell me if my why is well written. Thanks!
By examining the gender context during Trujillo's regime, one can see that some women who are weak tend to obey both male and female dominance, while some strong women use it to get what they want or try to defy it. This suggests that men or women may think that they have power over women, but when women go against the domination, it is realized that the way power is perceived is not always the way power is divided.
I have personally issues with the use of terms weak and strong. Was Christ weak, or strong? Was Mr Zimmerman weak, or stong?
Secondly, the second sentence <<...suggests..may think..power over women...is realized...perceived...not always>>
seems awfully wishy washy to me. Exactly what point are your trying to argue? In your terms, that sentence is not a strong statement.
Which ONE sentence is your thesis statement?
Your thesis statement must include factual information plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.
I am trying to argue that most weak women in the Dominican Republic during Trujillo's obeyed male domination. While the strong women would manipulate gender context to get what they want or to defy the power hierarchy.
How are you going to indicate who's weak and who's strong?
How will you put your idea into ONE sentence that follows the instructions I gave you above and one of the examples in the webpage I linked?
You'll also have to define the term "gender context." It makes no sense to me.
Certainly! Your thesis statement seems to be focused on exploring how women respond to male and female dominance within the gender context of Trujillo's regime. Based on your statement, it appears that you are studying the behavior of women who are weak and tend to obey dominant forces, as well as strong women who may either use the dominance to their advantage or challenge it. Your thesis statement effectively sets the stage for understanding the complex relationship between power, perception, and division within this particular historical context.
In terms of your "why" statement, it could benefit from providing more specific details about why examining this gender context is important or relevant. Here's an example of how you could expand on the "why" aspect:
"By examining the gender context during Trujillo's regime and the varied responses of women to male and female dominance, this research aims to shed light on the dynamic nature of power relationships within oppressive systems. This study is significant as it challenges the perceived imbalance of power and encourages a nuanced understanding of how women navigate and negotiate their roles within a patriarchal regime. Moreover, the findings have broader implications for understanding power dynamics in other historical and contemporary contexts, thereby contributing to ongoing discussions on gender equality and empowerment."
By incorporating these additional details, your thesis statement becomes more robust and clearly establishes the significance of your research. Remember, a strong thesis statement not only presents your main argument but also explains why it matters.