Hello can you please proof read my two paragraphs I am more concerned about transition. Thanx
Furthermore, although the current rise of Baloch nationalism is not completely centered on ethnicity per se. One cannot help but recognize the ethnic differences that are persistent among the Pakistani governmental structure. Today, the dominant military government is affiliated with the ethnic Punjabi-Mojahir ethnic group alliance (Jaffrelot 52). Punjabis are a heterogeneous group comprising different tribes and communities. Currently, Punjabi ethnic group possess the majority seats in parliamentary, holding 93 seats out of the 120 seats in the senate (Jaffrelot 52). The growing polarization and breakup of the political process the worsening situation, and economic drift has raised serious thought among about the political isolations tribute to the incapacity of the state and the administrative system to perform their basic functions effectively and fulfill their basic function to the community (Akhbar 76).
Baluchistan is proof if this failure. Baluchistan is the poorest province of Pakistan. It has failed to benefit from its own natural resources (Grare 4). The Pakistani government has expropriated Baluchistan land for recreation area. Despite being the richest province in terms of energy and mineral resources, Baluchistan remains one of the most underdeveloped provinces. Baluchistan subsoil holds a significant portion of Pakistan’s energy and mineral resources. It accounts for 36% of its total gas production (Grare 4). However, Baluchistan only consumes 17% of its own production. The remaining 83% is distributed throughout the rest of the country. Furthermore, Baluchistan receives only 12.4% of the earnings due to it for its supply (Grare 5). Over 70% of the Baloch population lives on a part of their traditional territory in Pakistan. Baluchistan is the largest among Pakistan’s four provinces, comprising 43% of land area, but only 6% of Pakistan’s total population (Jafferelot 31). Baloch trace their roots to tribes that migrated east from around Aleppo, in Syria before Christian era. Baloch speak Balochi, part of the Iranian group of Indo-European languages. The majority of Baloch peoples are Hanafi Sunni, of Islam faith (Jafferelot 31).
Your first "sentence" is a fragment.
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I'd also appreciate it if you gave us the complete authors and titles of your reference sources
What is the purpose of this paper? Is it for an English class or a social studies class? What are your teacher's expectations for this paper?
Sure, here are the two paragraphs with suggested transitions:
Furthermore, although the current rise of Baloch nationalism is not completely centered on ethnicity per se, one cannot help but recognize the ethnic differences that persist within the Pakistani governmental structure. Today, the dominant military government is affiliated with the ethnic Punjabi-Mojahir ethnic group alliance (Jaffrelot 52). Moreover, Punjabis consist of a heterogeneous group comprising different tribes and communities. It is worth noting that the Punjabi ethnic group currently holds the majority of seats in parliament, with 93 out of 120 seats in the senate (Jaffrelot 52). However, the growing polarization and breakdown of the political process, coupled with the worsening situation and economic drift, raise serious concerns about the political isolation that contributes to the incapacity of the state and the administrative system to effectively perform their basic functions and fulfill their obligations to the community (Akhbar 76).
The situation in Baluchistan serves as proof of this failure. As the poorest province of Pakistan, Baluchistan has failed to benefit from its own natural resources (Grare 4). Remarkably, despite being the province with the richest energy and mineral resources, it remains one of the most underdeveloped provinces. Notably, Baluchistan accounts for 36% of Pakistan's total gas production, yet it only consumes 17% of it (Grare 4). The remaining 83% is distributed throughout the rest of the country. Moreover, Baluchistan receives a mere 12.4% of the earnings due for its supplies (Grare 5). It is worth highlighting that over 70% of the Baloch population resides in a part of their traditional territory in Pakistan. Baluchistan, being the largest among Pakistan's four provinces, comprises 43% of the land area but only 6% of the total population (Jafferelot 31). Additionally, it is important to note that the Baloch trace their roots to tribes that migrated east from around Aleppo, in Syria, before the Christian era. They also speak Balochi, which is part of the Iranian group of Indo-European languages. Furthermore, the majority of Baloch people are Hanafi Sunni, practicing the Islamic faith (Jafferelot 31).