My English teacher hates this story I wrote. So do I, but I don't know how to make it better. It is a compare and contrast paper about Hitler and Lisa (main character in a book we read called, The girl who owed a city). I don't know what to do! Help!
Both Hitler and Lisa were so similar they could be identical twins. Hitler was an evil dicatator who tried to wipe out a whole race, and by doing such he killed over six million people. Lisa was also a dictator, but nothing like Hitler. She was a kind girl who listened to others and was great at getting out of hard situations. Most people would ask, how are these two very different people so similar? This paper will answer all questions. Though these two people may seem different, they share similar thoughts and ideas about running an army.
Hitler and Lisa had different ways of treating others in their armies. Lisa was very kind to her people. Although she was stubborn, she was able to listen to other ideas. Hitler on the other hand had certain beliefs and if someone didn’t agree with them than Hitler thought that that person was crazy. Never did Hitler think he was the crazy one. When going got tough Hitler went crazy, while Lisa thought about what she could do to solve the dilemma. Lisa’s story ended on a happy note, unlike Hitler who killed himself. This is how Lisa and Hitler are different.
If a person met both Lisa and Hitler on the street, they would think that Hitler and Lisa are two very different people, but they ran their armies in almost identical ways. Both Hitler and Lisa were very strict to their people and they didn’t let certain people in. Each army was strong and defeated others. Each army came up with new and creative ways to beat other armies. Both dictators had hundreds of enemies. They both had people trying to kill and defeat them. But they both put up a hard fight ‘till the end. This is how Hitler and Lisa were almost the exact same.
Hitler and Lisa were very similar. Yes, they had some differences, too. Of course Lisa behaved nothing like Hitler, but she ran her army almost the same as Hitler did. Though they do seem very different at first, this paper has examples and details about their similarities, as well as differences. Hitler and Lisa, both two very different people, had a mind of a genius.
You need to completely reorganize your essay.
I. Intro, including thesis statement at the end
II. All about Lisa
A. ___________
B. ___________
C. ___________
(etc.)
III. All about Hitler
A. ___________
B. ___________
C. ___________
(etc.)
IV. Conclusion
In addition, you need to completely rewrite that first paragraph -- but don't do so until AFTER YOU'VE WRITTEN THE BODY OF THE PAPER. Once you have sections II and III written, revised, and edited, then go back and write your introduction. Don't even try to rewrite what you have! Chuck it, and start over -- AFTER THE BODY OF THE PAPER IS DONE.
Feel free to repost if you wish our comments on your re-done paper.
=)
I need one paragraph to be compare and the other to be contrasting. Because it is a compare and contrast paper.
I understand that you are struggling with your compare and contrast paper about Hitler and Lisa. It's important to receive feedback and learn how to improve your writing. Here are some steps you can take to make your story better:
1. Identify the issues: Before making any changes, it's important to understand why your English teacher and you dislike the story. Take a step back and think about the aspects that are not working, such as unclear points, weak arguments, or lack of evidence.
2. Conduct research: To improve a compare and contrast paper, gather more information about Hitler and Lisa. Read multiple sources, including books, articles, and primary sources, to gain a deeper understanding of their similarities and differences. This will help you strengthen your arguments and provide more accurate information.
3. Revise your thesis statement: Your thesis statement should clearly state the main argument of your paper. In this case, it seems like you're arguing that Hitler and Lisa were similar in their thoughts and ideas about running an army. Consider revising and refining your thesis statement to reflect a more specific and focused argument.
4. Develop clear and concise paragraphs: Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that supports your thesis statement. Provide evidence and examples to support your claims and use proper citation when necessary. Make sure your paragraphs flow logically and smoothly, with clear transitions between ideas.
5. Proofread and edit: After revising your paper, take the time to proofread and edit for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. Consider seeking help from a peer, teacher, or online resources to ensure your writing is clear, concise, and error-free.
6. Seek feedback: Once you feel satisfied with your revised paper, consider sharing it with others. Seek feedback from your teacher, classmates, or even friends and family members. Listen to their suggestions and critiques, and make further amendments as necessary.
Remember, writing is a process that requires revision and improvement. Don't be discouraged by the initial feedback or your own dissatisfaction with your work. Keep honing your writing skills, seek guidance when needed, and never hesitate to ask for help.