Every sentence in the paragraph below violates some principle of good persuasive writing. Revise the paragraph, following the directions at the end of each sentence; use your imagination where necessary. Type the revised paragraph in the text box provided below. CAUTION: BEFORE BEGINNING WORK, READ THE PARAGRAPH AND DIRECTIONS
CAREFULLY.
The Honors Association in this school is all eggheads; they should do something practical for a change. (Eliminate the stereotype and state your opinion more reasonably.) Specifically, I recommend they buy the football team jackets each year. (Come up with a more appealing project for this audience.) This would meet a real need in our school. (Be more specific in this background statement.) The other clubs around here all do something. (Introduce a limiting word; give one or two specific examples to prove this fact.) The most important reason is that the members of the association claim that service to the school is one of their goals. (If it is so important, move this sentence and the next one to just before the call to action.) If they can't buy those jackets, they should just disband. (Include the project you used above; modify the either-or-approach.) Nonmembers think the association should be more active. (Use a transition to introduce this idea; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion --perhaps from the officer of another club.) The faculty thinks the association should be more active. (Use a transition; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion.) That is all I have to say. (Replace this with a forceful call to action.)
Need Help Do Not Understand This.
Take it once sentence at a time. Follow the directions in parentheses for each sentence.
The Honors Association in this school is all eggheads; they should do something practical for a change. (Eliminate the stereotype and state your opinion more reasonably.)
Specifically, I recommend they buy the football team jackets each year. (Come up with a more appealing project for this audience.)
This would meet a real need in our school. (Be more specific in this background statement.)
The other clubs around here all do something. (Introduce a limiting word; give one or two specific examples to prove this fact.)
The most important reason is that the members of the association claim that service to the school is one of their goals. (If it is so important, move this sentence and the next one to just before the call to action.)
If they can't buy those jackets, they should just disband. (Include the project you used above; modify the either-or-approach.)
Nonmembers think the association should be more active. (Use a transition to introduce this idea; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion --perhaps from the officer of another club.)
The faculty thinks the association should be more active. (Use a transition; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion.)
That is all I have to say. (Replace this with a forceful call to action.)
Sure, I can help you with this! The task is to revise the given paragraph by following the directions given for each sentence. Here's a step-by-step breakdown of how you can approach it:
1. Read the paragraph carefully and understand the directions for each sentence.
2. Identify and eliminate any stereotypes in the first sentence. Also, restate your opinion more reasonably.
3. Come up with a more appealing project for the Honors Association, keeping your audience in mind.
4. Make the background statement more specific by providing additional details.
5. Introduce a limiting word and give one or two specific examples to support the claim that other clubs around the school are active.
6. Move the sentence about the association's goal of serving the school to just before the call to action if it's important.
7. Modify the either-or approach in the sentence about disbanding, including the project you used above.
8. Use a transition to introduce the idea in the sentence about nonmembers' opinions. Add a limiting word and consider including an authoritative opinion, perhaps from the officer of another club.
9. Repeat step 8 for the sentence about the faculty's perspective.
10. Instead of stating "That is all I have to say" at the end, replace it with a forceful call to action.
By following these steps, you can revise the paragraph and improve the persuasive writing.