Well I have been working on an essay for a couple days now about slavery, here it is:
Slavery began in the 16th century, but ended in the 19th century. Slaves went through a lot of torture then, but some blacks now still deal with some of the problems the slaves had back then.
Slavery lasted for centuries, but it was most used when the U.S. tried to find independence from Great Britain in 1776. The North abolished slavery in the year of 1787, however slavery was very popular in the South. The South had large plantation fields, the most plantation field that most slaves worked on was the cotton field. This created a segregation between the North and South. When Abraham Lincoln was elected he ordered all slaves to be free in January, 1863 in the Confederacy through the Emancipation Proclamation. After the war, the Thirteenth Amendment came out, it effectively ended slavery throughout throughout the U.S. From the 16th-19th century Africans from Africa were shipped to the Americas and worked for other people. 2/3 of the slaves worked in the cotton field, nearly 400,000 people (whites) held slaves, (roughly 1/4.)The only way for a slave to be free was to run away through the Underground Railroads to the North.
The Amendment said "every person should have the right of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." However, it was simply way to hard for slave to have a Life, Liberty and/or Pursuit of Happiness in the South. The Antislavery Society was founded by Quakers in Philadelphia, during the year the Revolution began. The British army freed many slaves as they were moving through the South. The growth of free black communities in Americas were limited by the war for American Independence, Revolutionary sentiments led to the banning of the importation of slaves in 1807. Many people in the North needed to recognize that the economic benefit was vastly overshadowing by the overwhelming repugnance, immortality, and inhumanity of slavery.
Black people have had to play catch up and have been denied for certain opportunities a white race wouldn't. Some cope with poor housing, lack of employment opportunities, inadequate health care and education. When blacks were enslaved whites didn't see them as a citizen of their own kind, they had suffered a lot of physical/ mental, and emotional damage that has been passed down through centuries. John H. Franklin said "that this country has not confronted the issue of slavery yet," John Franklin's statement is still true today.
Slavery is a big impact in our history, they've went through a lot but still held strong. The U.S. has been affected and our lives by slavery.
Is this good or not? If not please help me to make it better.
NOTE: YES I DID USE SOME QUOTES FROM SOME SITES.
I'm sorry you chose not to follow the outline I suggested.
I did I had some trouble using my own words during the whole essay, my teacher said it was okay to use them as long as it is mostly our own writing.. Which I did.
Your essay lacks organization. It's all mixed up.
I agree with MS Sue, the essay is chaos. You jump from one thought to another, from one time period to another. Helter-Skelter is a term that comes to mind. http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/helter-skelter.html It appears you followed no outline at all.
Exactly what amendment are you referring to? The Amendment said "every person should have the right of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."
Your essay on slavery is a good start, but there are some areas where you can improve and expand upon. Here are some suggestions to help you make it better:
1. Provide more historical context: Begin by introducing the origins and spread of slavery globally, not just in the Americas. You can mention the Transatlantic Slave Trade, which involved the forced migration of millions of Africans to the Americas. This will give your readers a broader understanding of the historical timeline and scale of slavery.
2. Structure your essay chronologically: Start with an introduction that highlights the key points you will discuss in your essay, such as the beginnings of slavery, its expansion, the movement towards abolition, and the ongoing impacts. Then, divide the body of your essay into sections that correspond to these different periods, discussing each one in detail.
3. Clarify dates and events: Make sure to check the accuracy of the dates and events you mention. For example, slavery did not begin in the 16th century but rather dates back to ancient civilizations, and the Thirteenth Amendment was passed in 1865, not 1863. Accuracy in historical details will strengthen your essay's credibility.
4. Discuss the conditions and treatment of slaves: Instead of just stating that slaves went through a lot of torture, provide specific examples and details to illustrate the hardships they endured. This could include physical abuse, forced labor, separation from family, restrictions on education, and more. By providing specific examples, you will make your point more impactful.
5. Explore the complexities of the North-South divide: Instead of merely stating that the North abolished slavery and the South retained it, explain the reasons behind this division. Discuss the economic, political, and social factors that led to these differing views on slavery, such as the reliance on agriculture in the South versus the industrialization in the North.
6. Discuss the long-term impacts: Extend your analysis beyond the immediate abolition of slavery. Talk about the challenges that newly freed slaves faced during Reconstruction and the ongoing discrimination and socioeconomic disparities that have persisted to this day. Provide examples and statistics to support your claims about the current struggles faced by black communities.
7. Use additional sources and citations: While it's fine to include some quotes, it's important to have a well-rounded essay that includes research from various sources. Provide proper citations for the quotes and include a bibliography or works cited page to demonstrate your research efforts and give credit to the original authors.
Remember to proofread your essay for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. And always make sure to acknowledge all your sources by providing proper citations to avoid any issues of plagiarism. With these suggestions, you can improve your essay and make it even stronger. Good luck!