English - Hamlet

This is my outline for an essay I am to write. I spent a lot of time working on it and I'm really stuck at some parts of it. The essay is a compare/contrast one between the play and the film made in 2000. I have trouble with sentences with * on them. Can anyone PLEASE help me as much as you can?

PARAGRAPH I (INTRODUCTION)
A. Basis of Comparison:
Same characters with altered traits.
B. Central idea:
In the play and film “Hamlet,” the change of setting from Elizabethan Elsinore to Modern New York accentuates changes in character traits.
C. Thesis statement:
The effect caused by the change in temporal and physical setting is demonstrated through the change in societal roles of characters and their means of behavioural communication.

PARAGRAPH II & III
A. Play
TOPIC SENTENCE
In Elizabethan times, respect and obedience to authority governed the relationships between all members of society.

1. King Claudius and Gertrude are regarded with high respect in the Elizabethan times since they have authority over Denmark, a political state.
2. * (I have trouble coming up with another idea, I originally had one to do with Polonius but I had to scrap that. Can anyone suggest something I can add to my topic sentence other than respect and obedience that were different in Elizabethan times compared to modern times)
3. Ophelia demonstrates that a father’s order is the final word when she obeys her father’s command to stop seeing Hamlet. * (is this one ok?)

CONCLUDING SENTENCE
Roles as authorial figures grant characters rights and obligations which are never broken in Elizabethan times.

B. Film
TOPIC SENTENCE
Modern time permits freedoms that Elizabethan times did not allow; therefore the characters have more lenient social roles in comparison to the Elizabethan times.

1. King Claudius and Gertrude, heads of an American corporation, are regarded as important but do not have an air of authority over those that do not work for them.
2. * (see above for part 2)
3. Although Ophelia’s protests rarely have a voice, the pain of loss easily read on her face and her silence indicate her secret wishes to disobey her father. * (This sounds awkward and I need help rewording it)

CONCLUDING SENTENCE
Lack of authority in social roles in Modern times allows freedom of expression in relationships amongst characters.

PARAGRAPH IV & V
A. Play
TOPIC SENTENCE
Lack of mood enhancers determines the true behaviour of the characters.*

1. Hamlet’s soliloquies are cast in solitude with a lack of busyness in the atmosphere allowing no distraction to alter his disposition of vengeful behaviour.
2. The conversation between Rosencrantz, Guildenstern and Hamlet, although at first is dishonest, maintains sincerity since it is not enhanced by any influence other than their mission.* (I feel like this has nothing to do with physical setting. Can anyone suggest anyway to improve this?)
3. Hamlet’s encounter with Ophelia is within the walls of the castle which suggests that is the reason for his strange behaviour.* (I feel like this has nothing to do with physical setting. Can anyone suggest anyway to improve this?)

CONCLUDING SENTENCE
The only form of deceivers is words when communicating in the play.

B. Film
TOPIC SENTENCE
The addition of visual elements to the film contrasting with the lack of them in the play brings about significant alterations to the characters’ behaviour.

1. Hamlet, who is a film student, casts all his soliloquies in visual context due of the increase of technology in the Modern time compared to the Elizabethan times, which contribute to his depression and anger since he is able to see what angers him.* (I need help rewording this)
2. The atmosphere of the club scene which is enhanced by vibrant colours and debauchery has a double play on Rosencrantz news of honesty.
3. Red lighting promotes a romantic setting as Hamlet gives Ophelia the letter with nothing but expressions of longing on his face.

CONCLUDING SENTENCE
Visual aid allows a double play on communication in the film.

PARAGRAPH VI (CONCLUSION)
A. Reaffirm basis of comparison
The film maintains the same characters as the play.
B. Remind reader of central idea/thesis
Although the film maintains the same characters as the play, the significant change of temporal and physical setting provide alterations in character traits.
C. Emphasize/summarize key points on contrast
The change of societal roles is brought on by the decrease of authority. The change in behavioural communication is brought on by the increase of technology.

  1. 👍
  2. 👎
  3. 👁
  1. Not having seen the film made in 2000, I cannot help you with the content from that angle.

    But I can tell you that you don't have a true thesis statement yet. It's all fact, no opinion -- no position, no stance. Just what is it you intend to prove?

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

    1. 👍
    2. 👎
    👤
    Writeacher
  2. I am trying to prove that setting changes character. My teacher approved my thesis already, but if you can please help me improve it I'd be grateful. I'm having difficulty rewriting what I already wrote. Can you also please help me with the Hamlet play part. If I can get that done well I won't have that much of a problem with the movie parts. Most of my sentences need rewording because they're too wordy. Thank you so much for the help!

    1. 👍
    2. 👎
  3. B. Central idea:
    In the play and film Hamlet, the change of setting from Elizabethan Elsinore to Modern New York accentuates changes in character traits.
    C. Thesis statement:
    The effect caused by the change in temporal and physical setting is demonstrated through the change in societal roles of characters and their means of behavioural communication.

    I think your central idea is a better stated thesis statement than your current thesis statement! It's clear and succinct.

    For Paragraph II, A2, you might include that, even though Hamlet was upset and angry with his mother and uncle, he did not display his anger in public at first -- only in soliloquys.

    For Paragraph IV, A2 and 3, you can concentrate on the publicness of those encounters -- no house or building that is anyone's private space, private residence (unlike Hamlet's visit to his mother in her room). "Publicness" could be interpreted as non-threatening, out in the open, etc.

    I hope these ideas help.

    =)

    1. 👍
    2. 👎
    👤
    Writeacher

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Response

Similar Questions

  1. Test taking Stratagies (2 questions) help me plz

    1.)Which of the following is a good way to approach answering an essay question on a test? A.)Start writing your answer as soon as you have read the question B.)Jot down a rough outline before you start writing**** C.)Write as

  2. ELA Q & A

    Imagine that you have to write an argumentative essay on whether or not teenagers should be allowed to have their own cell phones. Write a claim for this essay with at least one reason.

  3. Comm Tech

    2.)Which of the following is good advice for answering essay, fill-in-the-blank, and multiple choice questions? A.)Write a rough outline before you begin B.)Look for two answers that are similar C.)Read the question very carefully

  4. HISTORY

    Write a short paragraph that traces the rise of Japan from an isolated society to a major industrial and imperial power. I have to write an essay, so if you can write me a short paragraph that answers and summarizes my question,

  1. English

    1. Why would you do research to prepare for a personal comparison and contrast essay? A. To find additional examples to support you main idea. B. To find people to interview from your family. C.To find references for your essay.

  2. English

    I read the short story "I Go Along" by Richard Peck. I must answer: "The title of this story can be interpreted in a number of ways. In multi-paragraph essay form and with reference to the story, explain how the title relates to

  3. English

    essay outline about the hero;s journey in fahrenheit 451?

  4. Englisg

    1) Using a single formatting _____ helps to make reading researched information easier;it lets the reader know what to expect. A. Citation B. Text C. Style D. Website My answer was B I got it wrong 2) when creating a writing

  1. English

    Which of the following is a good test-taking strategy when answering an essay question? 1.(Think about what you want to say and create a brief bulleted list or organizer before you begin writing.) 2.Write as much as you can as

  2. Essay on UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL

    Can someone help me with the essay writing please First you should make a list of reasons you agree or disagree with this topic. Arrange these items in a logical order. Next, write an introductory paragraph, briefly stating these

  3. Writing

    How can you create an outline for an essay?

  4. Com 150

    Before you write your expository essay, you must organize your ideas. One way to organize content is by creating a formal outline. Normally, an outline organizes only the body of your paper. Although your thesis statement appears

You can view more similar questions or ask a new question.