This is my conclusion to my persuasive paper please check my grammar.
As one can see there are many benefits and advantages of going to college. College gives one the opportunity to question everything and teaches one how to think on their own. College provides one with a broader knowledge of the world around him. It increases your career options and opens doors a person may have never thought of before. To sum it all up, college is more of a benefit for one than a hindrance. If one is willing to make this investment in oneself and their future, one will develop into a well-rounded, successful person with skills ready to tackle the professional world and create a fulfilling life for their self. So what more could a person ask of their investment in higher education than prosperity, quality of life, a legacy for his children, and the means to ensure the continuing success of the American dream?
One thing you need to do before I can even see anything else is to get this into ONE point-of-view. You have second and third person in here with singular and plural mixed up.
second person = you and all its forms
third singular = one, him, all 3rd person singular pronouns, all singular nouns
third plural = their and all 3rd person singular pronouns, all plural nouns
Pick one and be consistent. Repost when you're ready.