I'm writing an essay and was wondering if this part was okay.

I was eager for this day to end and summer begin. Despite my eagerness, I was excited about the “surprise” guest the school had booked to make this day special for our graduating class.

Should I just say simplify it and say "I was excited.."

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  1. Yes.

    "Despite my eagerness" doesn't belong with "I was excited."

    You could insert "though" after "excited."

  2. Ok, thanks so much Ms. Sue!

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  3. I'm sorry to bother again but would this work?

    Despite my eagerness for the day to end, I was excited about the “surprise” guest the school had booked to make this day special for our graduating class.

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  4. Yes. That's very good!

  5. Ah Yay! Thank you (:

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  6. You're welcome. :-)

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