I am in the middle of a draft for my final essay I would like to know what you think and if you think there is something that should be added, deleted, or changed please tell me. This essay is a compare/contrast essay about flat irons and curling irons. I only have the introduction and first paragraph finished.
Flat Irons VS. Curling Irons
Do you have trouble deciding what heated styling utensil will be best for your hair? Both the curling iron and flat iron offer diversity with their styles, tips, results, damage affects, and amount of time each take for completing your desired look. The flat iron also known as a hair straightener is a hair tool that is designed to straighten a person’s hair, there are different ways in which they work. A hair straightener is made with two flat plates that heat up to create the style you want; they come with different plate sizes for different types of hair. Curling irons also called curling tongs are hair tools that use heat for rolling hair into curls; they can create many types of curls with different sizes. There are, spring curling irons have a clip to hold the bottom of your hair as you roll up, with clipless curling irons you wrap the top of your hair around the barrel all the way up to the roots, Marcel curling irons have two handles that make curling your hair quicker but harder, Spiral/Ribbon curling irons have raised ridges so you can guide your hair around quickly and easily, last is the double/triple barrel curling irons create figure 8 loops and waves very quickly because you can use large sections of hair at a time. Although both products appear similar, a closer look at the main details reveals the flat iron as the more effective hair care tool.
There are many different style options you can choose, for the flat iron as well as the curling iron. Both of the utensils can curl and wave your hair flat iron curls tend to be loose, big and don’t normally last that long, curling iron curls can be tight, loose, big, or little and can last for a while, the waves from both utensils look similar when all of your hair is finished. Flat irons are best used for straightening hair but as you read a little bit ago they can also create waves, curls, and eliminate frizz. When styling your hair you need to have the correct plate size, the size you choose depends on your hair type and length. If your hair is thick, coarse, curly you will need an iron that’s 1-1 ½ in. (short hair), 1-2 in. (medium hair), or 1 ½-2 in. (long hair). For normal, medium, wavy hair your iron size will need to be ½ -1 ¼ in. (short hair), 1-1 ½ in. (medium hair), or 1 ¼-2 in. (long hair). If you have thin, fine hair it doesn't matter what size flat iron you use. Curling irons as you read earlier don’t only create curls but also waves. There are different kinds of curls; the one you want will depend on the length of your hair, barrel size, and the curling iron you decide to use. Pencil thin curls need a 3/8 in. barrel, short-medium hair, and a spring curling iron, Shirley Temple curls need a 1/2-5/8 in. barrel, short-medium hair, and a spiral curling iron, classic coil curls need a 1 in. barrel, medium hair, and a spring curling iron, long looping curls need a 1 1/4 in. barrel, medium-long hair, and a spring curling iron, big round curls (Victoria Secret curls) need a 1 1/2+ in. barrel, medium-long hair, and a clipless, Marcel, or spiral/ribbon curling iron, last is loose flowing “S” shaped waves you’ll need a 2+ in. barrel, long hair, and a double/triple barrel or clipless curling iron.
Being a male, it is difficult for me to be unbiased on this, but I really wonder if this is a buying guide, or an essay? So far, I just do not see much compare and contrast. So if you are going there, it could be an essay, but on what you have so far, it reads much like a buying guide from an internet hair salon.
Compare it to this: http://www.shopwiki.com/w/Curling-Irons
I fully understand that the definition of "essay" has over the years been very vague. But so far, you have avoided personal reflections, learned arguments, criticism.
<Essays can consist of a number of elements, including: literary criticism, political manifestos, learned arguments, observations of daily life, recollections, and reflections of the author. So it now reads much like a buying guide.
Repost it later. For info, normally, the introduction and thesis paragraph is the last thing you should write in an essay.
Good luck.
Bobpursley is right about what an essay needs to include -- not a shopping guide!!
In addition to the good link he gave you re writing an essay, here's this for writing comparison/contrast ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whenever you are writing a comparison/contrast paper (paragraph, essay, research paper), you need to plan it out very carefully on paper first.
Try this:
1. Write all the information about one of your topics on one page.
2. Write all the information about the other topic on another page.
3. Then put them together in this order:
1. Intro
2. All about topic A
~~~2A. detail 1
~~~2B. detail 2
~~~2C. detail 3
~~~2D. detail 4
~~~2E. detail 5
3. All about topic B
~~~3A. detail 1
~~~3B. detail 2
~~~3C. detail 3
~~~3D. detail 4
~~~3E. detail 5
4. Concl.
The number of details for each topic will vary depending on your main points. I would include comparisons (how they are similar) in the introduction and conclusion, but sections 2 and 3 and all those details will be stating and explaining how they are different.
There are two recognized patterns for writing comparison/contrast papers. One is casually referred to as "zig-zag,” but can be very confusing for the reader if you don’t use transitions effectively. The other is topic-by-topic (which is what I've outlined above) and is much easier for the reader to follow.
See http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/comparcontrast.html for further help with comparison/contrast writing.
Once you have organized your information, please re-post if you’d like feedback from someone here.
Okay thank you, after I fix it I'll repost it.
The introduction of your compare/contrast essay about flat irons and curling irons is off to a good start. It provides a clear overview of the topic and establishes the purpose of the essay.
As for the first paragraph, it effectively introduces the two types of hair styling tools and provides some basic information about how they work. However, there are a few areas where you could improve and further develop your ideas.
1. Clarify the purpose: After the initial sentence, you mention that both the curling iron and flat iron offer diversity in terms of styles, tips, results, damage affects, and time. It's important to explicitly state that the purpose of the essay is to compare and contrast these aspects of the two tools, as this will guide the reader's expectations and focus.
2. Streamline the information: While it's good to provide some background information on how flat irons and curling irons work, try to condense it into a more concise and streamlined paragraph. Focus on the essential details that will help your readers understand the main differences between the two tools.
3. Transition to the thesis statement: In your final sentence, you mention that a closer look at the main details reveals the flat iron as the more effective hair care tool. This is a strong claim, but it would benefit from a clear thesis statement that encompasses the main points you will discuss in the essay. For example, you could say something like, "Although both flat irons and curling irons offer versatility in hair styling, the flat iron proves to be the more effective choice due to its ability to straighten, create waves, eliminate frizz, and accommodate different hair types and lengths."
Overall, your essay has a promising start. Remember to clearly state your purpose, streamline your information, and provide a well-crafted thesis statement to guide your essay. Good luck with your final draft!