Alright, so Thanks so much! I made some corrections! How does it sound now? Anything I should change? Is everything grammatically correct? Thanks so much!

New Kingdom of Egypt
By: Bryce R
The New Kingdom of Egypt had a great impact on the Egyptian civilization because it boasted many of the most famous pharaohs Egypt is known for. It lasted from 1570 to 1070 BC, and many great pharaohs, such as King Tutankhamen, reigned during this time period. The New Kingdom is also known for its great military expansion, developments in art and architecture, and religious innovations. The New Kingdom played a key role in the expansion of the Egyptian empire.
One of the most important goals for the pharaohs was the building of their tombs. The Valley of the Kings, which holds many pharaohs tombs who reigned during the New Kingdom, stands on the west bank of the Nile River. It was a major burial place for royal figures in the New Kingdom era. It contains 63 tombs, and each is decorated with scenes from Egyptian mythology. Almost all of the tombs have been robbed, but they still show how complex and important the pharaohs were considering the amount of labor that was put into building the massive tomb. The Valley of the Kings is best known for the discovery of King Tutankhamen’s tomb on November 4th, 1922, by Howard Carter. Archaeologists are working on preserving and repairing the tomb for further exploration.
The New Kingdom is also known for the establishment of the sun god Aten, who King Akhenaten promoted. Since Akhenaten only wanted his people to worship Aten, the religion was monotheistic because people strictly only worshipped one god. Akhenaten worked very hard to diminish the idea of the older gods so people would furthermore worship Aten, but his hard work never payed off. The Egyptian people never accepted the king’s religion and view of the world. When the king died, the worship of Aten died out rapidly mainly because the people never had a firm belief system in the god and were forced to worship him. Akhenaten became known as the "Heretic King" for being the first person to worship only one god.
When Akhenaten died, he left in Egypt in a very poor state. His religious extremism had his own country on the verge of extinction. The next to become king was his nine year old son Tutankhamen. The people saw King Tutankhamen as a new beginning for their civilization, and hoped that one day he would be bring Egypt back to its old customs and values. Just as the people had hoped, he did just that. Tutankhamen ordered that all the old gods and temples be restored, along with the power the priests once had. He also ordered that Aten, God of the Sun, be officially erased from history. Tutankhamen’s reign came to a halt when he passed away at age nineteen.
The New Kingdom of Egypt reached the height of its military power when King Tuthmosis III reigned. His expeditions brought the eastern coast and Mediterranean Sea under Egyptian rule. Tuthmosis III conquered more land than any pharaoh before him, and made Egypt thrive. His army consisted of over 20,000 men. He also gave the military many benefits such as great food and plenty of water. Enlisting in his military was a smart career move in their day. When his reign came to a close, Egypt controlled Nubia, the Syrian and Lebanese coasts, and vast areas of Israel and Palestine. He had constructed the biggest empire ever conquered and ruled by one king.
The New Kingdom of Egypt played a significant part in the history and culture of Egypt. Although there was a great downfall during this era, this was also a crucial time for the people in this civilization because they had conquered a mass amount of land. By the time this era had ended, Egypt had been thriving and much more established than it had been ever before. This era also helped pave the way to Egypt’s great success as a civilization because it boasted many of the great pharaohs Egypt is known for. Thanks to all of the accomplishments many of the pharaohs had made, The New Kingdom era of Egypt has been made unforgettable.

The revised version of your text sounds much better! You have made some significant improvements in terms of grammar and clarity. Here are a few suggestions to further enhance your writing:

1. The sentence "The New Kingdom of Egypt played a significant part in the history and culture of Egypt" can be made more specific by mentioning some examples of how it contributed to history and culture. For example, you can mention the military expansion, art and architecture developments, and religious innovations as you did in the earlier part of your text.

2. In the sentence "By the time this era had ended, Egypt had been thriving and much more established than it had been ever before," consider rephrasing to make it clearer and more concise. For example, you could say, "By the end of this era, Egypt had become more prosperous and established than ever before."

3. Consider using transitions to connect ideas more smoothly. For example, you can use phrases like "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Moreover" to add clarity and coherence to the flow of your writing. These transitions can help readers understand the relationship between different ideas.

Overall, your text is well-written. It provides clear information about the New Kingdom of Egypt and highlights its significant contributions to Egyptian civilization. Well done!