Essay: How I surprised my friend on her birthday part.
A birthday party is the one day a year, which is very special and unique to everyone in their life. It is a day that should be celebrated with lots of joys and some surprises. Basically, I thought I was a perfect person in my best friend Monika’s life. Since, we guys were having our last exam of math on 30th July and on the same day she turning sweet 16. She was really nervous about her exam. However, just to cheer her up, I plan to give her a surprise birthday part. In order to do so, I talked with my friends to give her a surprise birthday at one of her favorite place, Bell’s Restaurant.
Though, in order to make a party more enjoyable or pleasurable, we decorated the party hall with lights and candles to look the party hall more charming. This party was a tailored for my friend, Monika, by serving her favorite delicious foods and by providing her drink. I and some of my friends helped to make it more entertaining by having music and dance floor in the party hall, so that every person presented in the party can enjoy some dance as well.
Moreover, we also gave her a great surprise by inviting her parents and some of her close family friends as well in party. They all brought gifts for her and enjoyed a lot at the party. To make it really special for my friend, me and some of my friends also made frames of her childhood memories and she was really happy after having all those memories together in just one frame. At last, we bought one of her favorite chocolate ice-cream cake, which she loved a lot, at the party. So, we had a very good cake ceremony right before the dinner and then we all together rocked the dance floor on her favorite songs. We also captured all of the fabulous memories in one picture album, which I still have with me and when we talk on the phone, we always discuss about that prestigious moment. By concluding this, that was an unforgettable moment in everyone’s life whoever was presented in the party.
Ms. Sue can you please check this essay. Please let me know if there are mistakes in this essay.
Good
I'll get you started with the first paragraph.
A birthday party is the one day a year, which is very special and unique to everyone in their life. Pronoun/antecedent error
It is a day that should be celebrated with lots of joys and some surprises. Basically, I thought I was a perfect person in my best friend Monika’s life. ok
Since, we guys were having our last exam of math on 30th July and on the same day she turning sweet 16. Incomplete sentence. Guys refers to males.
She was really nervous about her exam.ok
However, just to cheer her up, I plan to give her a surprise birthday part.Verb tense error. Spelling error
In order to do so, I talked with my friends to give her a surprise birthday at one of her favorite place, Bell’s Restaurant. ok
Please carefully proofread the rest of your essay, paying particular attention to what you've learned in this class.