I go to an Islamic private school. can you please comment on my speech i don't care you can be as harsh as you want.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can everyone please take out $5? … You know I should get paid for doing this speech. It’s seriously not fun when you have to face your fear as a reward for all your hard work. Don’t you guys agree? (Clear throat) Now that I’ve gotten everyone’s attention, I’ll start. By the way I was just joking about the money. Anyway:
Assalamu Alaikum, mothers and fathers, friends and faculty, respected teachers, and last but not least the “Graduating Class of 2012”. I’d like to thank you guys for being here to support us on our climb to the next stepping stone of our, inshallah, successful lives.
This year, was full of heavy loads of work, but, it passed by so quickly that if we think back to the first day of 8th grade we feel as if it were only yesterday. And it’s hard to believe that the next time we walk in any school, other than Friday’s report cards, we will be walking down as high school freshmen. It’s exciting, yet we know at the back of our brains that we’re going to have A LOT of work to do yes more than the work we did this year. All those hours spent on video games or Facebook and twitter are going to be compressed to maybe 25 minutes or nothing at all. High school is a big deal and everyone is ready to take on the climb. And hopefully we make the best of it.
Dr. Seuss has said:
You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
In Any direction you choose
Like Sr. Iman always mentions when she is giving her words of wisdom, that she says what she says because she cares for us and wants the better for us following her example I would like to say that I care about you guys and I want the better for you guys so please, please choose the good direction. Make your brain and feet steer you to the good direction, it’s better for you in this life and the next.
Ever heard those questions where people ask you if you had to describe something as one thing how would you describe it? And at that moment you had to think and think but still nothing came to mind something would be a little of? Well, I am so happy and honored to say that I was finally able to mention something as one thing, and that was this year. This year was a roller coaster ride, from the enthusiastic ride up the first lift up of the roller coaster standing for the thought Br. Nassry had of his jokes that went down so fast once he said them out loud that they are now known as “Br. Nassry’s Corny Jokes” to the hilarious moments in class when Sr. Sara just couldn’t stay mad at us and had to laugh which were like the parts of the ride which lead to the twists and turns. Moments when Hajirah, Ayah, and Rena got into their quarrels during class over which one of them were more annoying were the twists and turns and moments when Samia and Aisha would laugh over some Korean related thing during social studies and though that Br. Fahid didn’t know because his head was turned and then they found out on open school night that he knew were the moments of the loopty loops of the roller coaster. Oh!! And we can’t forget those ironic moments when Br. Abdelhamid hummed a song then threatened to sing if we didn’t do our work. And you know that satisfaction you get at the end of a roller coaster ride which is full of energy and enthusiasm is the same way we ended our 8th grade year together, with a full roller coaster thriller ride quite literally and figuratively. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the moment that stands for the scary feeling when the coaster starts to move and that was of the moments when we heard that Br. Ismael was coming to our class. Oh boy, did we start to scatter around to clean up every inch of the floor and straighten the desks because if we didn’t, we would have to clean is all up in 30 seconds and you guys know he stands there and counts the seconds.
(sigh) I am going to miss 8th grade in Al-Noor.
Okay now that I have completed all the points I had to mention on the checklist I would like to give thanks to the people who have helped this year be honored enough to be describes as Perfect. I would like to thank all our parents and guardians for putting us in this school and supporting us today.
I would like to thank the principal, Br. Ismael, for allowing us to do different things and letting us know that a room can look spic-and-span in a matter of 30 seconds. The assistant principals, Br. Hamid and Sr. Nazirah, for their continuous watch over us and for the guidance they have gave us that for the record did put shame and realization in our hearts for our actions. I would like to thank all the faculty and staff members that have been there to make Al-Noor was a relaxing zone and a comfortable place to study and learn.
And a great thanks from all of us to all our respected teachers Sr. Sara for her forgiving nature, Br. Nassry for his corny jokes, Br. Fahid for the words of wisdom he gave us on some of our actions and thoughts on life and neutralism, Br. Abdelhamid for just simply writing SWBAT (students will be able to) next to every aim and for writing work on the board even when we didn’t have him due to an event.
I would like to thank Sr. Zaiba for helping us in the world of technology and computer which I have to say helped me enter the gateway to medicine program in Brooklyn Tech, Sr. Nisreen for helping us stay fit and healthy with the fun company of our friends, Sr. Samirah for the occasional cute comments, Sr. Mervat for her continuous struggle to call us for Salah, Sr. Hala for just being understanding and helpful, Sheikh Ahmad for his clever bribery in helping us understand Islam while memorizing the Quran, Sheikh Yehya and Sheikh Alam for their struggle in helping us read, memorize, and understand the Quran.
I would like to thank Sr. Iman and Sr. Feiza for their continuous struggle in making sure we understood our religion and that we followed it and for the advices they gave us that will not only help us in this world but, also for the hereafter. And last but not least with all love, gratitude, and appreciation, thank you to Sr. Rehab for trying so hard in making sure that we had a great 8th grade year without you our senior trip, prom, and any other event wouldn’t have been possible.
I just wanted to mention the people that left for 8th grade Daniyah, Alaa, Lillian, and Sumaira we miss you guys a lot and wished that you guys could have been here with us. And joining the people that won’t be continuing high school in Al-Noor are Samia and I and on behalf of me and her I would just like to say that we will be missing Al-Noor and will be taking the memories with us. I will also like to say on behalf of all the graduates and teachers that we are going to miss you soo much Sr. Zaiba and honestly, I don’t think Al-Noor School can find a better teacher than you. You have taught most of us about the modern world facilities and without you we wouldn’t have been able to have the skill and/or the ability to make the published yearbook nor the video yearbook.
And to end everything I would like to say a quote that my dear friend Aisha loves – If life gives you lemons, make orange juice. But, don’t forget my advice on steering on the right side. Thank you.
Would everyone please take out $5? … You know I should get paid for doing this speech. It’s seriously not fun when you have to face your fear as a reward for all your hard work. Don’t you guys agree? (Clear throat) Now that I’ve gotten everyone’s attention, I’ll start. By the way I was just joking about the money.
Assalamu Alaikum, mothers and fathers, friends and faculty, respected teachers, and last but not least the graduating class of 2012. I’d like to thank you guys<~~Which "guys" do you mean here? And who are "us"?~~> for being here to support us on our climb to the next stepping stone of our, inshallah, successful lives.
This year was full of heavy loads of work, but it passed by so quickly that if we think back to the first day of 8th grade, we feel as if it were only yesterday. And it’s hard to believe that the next time we walk in any school, other returning here for Friday’s report cards, we will be walking around as high school freshmen. It’s exciting, yet we know at the back of our minds that we’re going to have A LOT of work to do -- yes more than the work we did this year. All those hours spent on video games or Facebook and Twitter are going to be compressed to maybe 25 minutes or nothing at all.<~~Excellent point!! Make sure you wait for the giggles! High school is a big deal, and everyone is ready to take on the climb. And hopefully we make the best of it.
Dr. Seuss wrote:
You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
In Any direction you choose
And as Sr. Iman always mentions when she is giving her words of wisdom, she says what she says because she cares for us and wants the best for us following her example <~~period needed there? and a pause in your voice? I, too, care about you guys and I want the best for all ov us, so please, please choose the good direction. Make your brain and feet steer you in the good direction. It's better for you in this life and the next.
Ever hear those questions when people ask you if you had to describe something as one thing how would you describe it? And at that moment you had to think and think but still nothing came to mind something would be a little of?<~~I'm not sure what's happening in the underlined part. Did you omit some words? Well, I am so<~~delete "so" happy and honored to say that I was finally able to mention something as one thing,<~~what does that mean?? and that was this year. This year was a roller coaster ride, from the enthusiastic ride up the first lift up of the roller coaster standing for the thought Br. Nassry had of his jokes that went down so fast. Once he said them out loud, they are now known as “Br. Nassry’s Corny Jokes” -- to the hilarious moments in class when Sr. Sara just couldn’t stay mad at us and had to laugh. These moments were parts of the ride which led to the twists and turns. Moments when Hajirah, Ayah, and Rena got into their quarrels during class over which one of them was more annoying were the twists and turns and moments when Samia and Aisha would laugh over some Korean related thing during social studies and though that Br. Fahid didn’t know because his head was turned and then they found out on open school night that he knew were the moments of the loopty loops of the roller coaster. Oh!! And we can’t forget those ironic moments when Br. Abdelhamid hummed a song then threatened to sing if we didn’t do our work. And you know that satisfaction you get at the end of a roller coaster ride which is full of energy and enthusiasm is the same way we ended our 8th grade year together, with a full roller coaster thriller ride quite literally and figuratively. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the moment that stands for the scary feeling when the coaster starts to move and that was of the moments when we heard that Br. Ismael was coming to our class. <~~Since this is a speech, you should probably to in and put dashes (--) in there where you need to pause. In fact, you'll need to mark pauses all the way through. No one else will see it ... just you, right? Oh boy, did we start to scatter around to clean up every inch of the floor and straighten the desks because if we didn’t, we would have to clean it all up in 30 seconds and you guys know he stands there and counts the seconds.
(sigh) I am going to miss 8th grade in Al-Noor.
Okay now that I have completed all the points I had to mention on the checklist I would like to give thanks to the people who have helped this year be honored enough to be describes as Perfect.<~~wordy ... how can you rephrase with fewer words, but keep the intended meaning? I thank all our parents and guardians for putting us in this school and supporting us today.
I also thank the principal, Br. Ismael, for allowing us to do different things and letting us know that a room can look spic-and-span in a matter of 30 seconds -- the assistant principals, Br. Hamid and Sr. Nazirah, for their continuous watch over us and for the guidance they have given us that for the record did put shame and realization in our hearts for our actions. I also thank all the faculty and staff members who have been there to make Al-Noor was a relaxing zone and a comfortable place to study and learn.
And a great thanks from all of us to all our respected teachers -- Sr. Sara for her forgiving nature -- Br. Nassry for his corny jokes -- Br. Fahid for the words of wisdom he gave us about some of our actions and thoughts on life and neutralism -- Br. Abdelhamid for just simply writing SWBAT (students will be able to) next to every aim and for writing work on the board even when we didn’t have him due to an event.<~~I don't understand this from "even" onward. ??
I thank Sr. Zaiba for helping us in the world of technology and computers which I have to say helped me enter the medicine program in Brooklyn Tech -- Sr. Nisreen for helping us stay fit and healthy in the fun company of our friends -- Sr. Samirah for the occasional cute comments -- Sr. Mervat for her continuous struggle to call us for Salah -- Sr. Hala for just being understanding and helpful -- Sheikh Ahmad for his clever bribery in helping us understand Islam while memorizing the Quran -- Sheikh Yehya and Sheikh Alam for their struggle in helping us read, memorize, and understand the Quran.
I also thank Sr. Iman and Sr. Feiza for their continuous struggle in making sure we understood our religion and that we followed it -- and for the advice they gave us that will not only help us in this world, but also for the hereafter. And last but not least with all love, gratitude, and appreciation, thank you to Sr. Rehab for working so hard to make sure that we had a great 8th grade year -- without you our senior trip, prom, and other events wouldn’t have happened.
Finally, I want to mention the people who left for 8th grade -- Daniyah, Alaa, Lillian, and Sumaira, we miss you all a lot and wish that you could be here with us. And joining the people that won’t be continuing high school in Al-Noor are Samia and I and on behalf of me and her<~~I don't understand this part. we will miss Al-Noor and will take the memories with us. On behalf of all the graduates and teachers, weare going to miss you very much -- Sr. Zaiba and honestly, I don’t think Al-Noor School can find a better teacher than you. You have taught most of us about the modern world facilities and without you we wouldn’t have the skills and abilities to publish the yearbook or the video yearbook.
In conclusion, I quote my dear friend Aisha -– If life gives you lemons, make orange juice. And don't forget my advice on steering on the right side. Thank you.
Thank you sooooo much!!!
by the way do you like the speech?
Yes, I love it! You've included humor and relevant reference to classmates and your teachers. Terrific!
thanks
"other returning here for Friday’s"
I should have left "than" in there before "returning" -- you may find other things like this, but you'll know when to re-insert the correct word(s), I'm sure!
You're very welcome!
=)
How about:
ALLAH AKBAR!! Aaaa-lulululululululu!!!
LET'S ALL DETONATE OUR SUICIDE VESTS!
BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!
girl you did great im muslim too
I commend you for your effort in delivering your speech. It is clear that you have put thought and creativity into it. However, I should mention that if you are looking for constructive feedback, it would be helpful to provide the context or purpose of the speech, as this will determine the criteria for evaluation. Additionally, as an AI text-based bot, I am unable to directly comment on your speech in the same way a human would. Nevertheless, I can provide some general feedback and suggestions on elements that could be improved or expanded upon in your speech.
1. Introduction: Instead of starting with a request for everyone to take out $5, you could consider opening with a compelling quote, an interesting fact, or a personal anecdote that relates to your speech topic.
2. Clear structure: It would be beneficial to organize your speech into distinct sections, such as an introduction, main points, and a conclusion. This will make it easier for your audience to follow along and understand your message.
3. Supporting examples: While you have mentioned some specific moments and people throughout your speech, it would be helpful to provide more concrete examples or anecdotes to support your statements. This will make your speech more engaging and relatable to your audience.
4. Smooth transitions: Work on creating smoother transitions between your ideas and topics. By using transitional phrases or sentences, you can guide your audience seamlessly from one point to the next.
5. Conclusion: Consider summarizing your main points and ending your speech with a strong closing statement or call to action. This will help leave a lasting impression on your audience.
Remember, the aim of a speech is to effectively communicate your message and engage your audience. Practice delivering your speech aloud, paying attention to your tone, pace, and body language, to ensure that you are effectively conveying your ideas. Good luck with your speech!