Last time I tried this the whole essay didn't get shown. If I am doing something wrong please tell me how.
"In “Class in America-2003,” Gregory Mantsios argues that America favors the rich and a person’s race and class standing greatly influences their wealth, health and education. By comparing the myths and realities of the American dream of equal opportunity, Mantsios defends his claim. By examining economic data, diving examples of various social classes and their class privileges, and discussing how race and gender greatly affect the lives of Americans in the workplace, Mantsios establishes a plethora of sources which he uses to define his thesis. In this essay I will focus on the purpose of Gregory Mantsios’ text.
In America, economic data can show the massive differences between the rich and poor. Mantsios writes, “The wealthiest 1 percent of the American population holds 38 percent of the total national wealth.” Whereas, “one of every eight people in this country—live below the official poverty line.” How can so few own so much when so many can barely make it by? It shows that the idea of equal opportunity is not true. If every person wanted to become successful and be free from poverty, they would be able to in an equal opportune society. However, they are not able to. By continuing to show economic statistics, Mantsios further qualifies his claim. He also notes that when there is a boom in the economy, the income of the rich greatly increased where the income of the middle and lower class only increased slightly. Since the majority of Americans fall into the middle and lower class brackets, the few flourish while the many barely get by. By using many examples of economic differences to show that Americans are not equal economically, Mantsios illustrates his claim.
Class privileges are what a person is more likely to get from his economic status: a wealthy person will have much better privileges than a low wage worker. Mantsios tells the brief life stories of people from an upper, middle and lower class standing. By chronicling their lives, Mantsios shows that the upper class man, Harold S. Browning, succeeds very far to become the executive vice president of a digital instrument company because he had a wealthy family. From the time he was born he had good schooling and advanced tutoring in foreign language and mathematics. He was able to go to a highly renowned preparatory school and continued on to an Ivy League liberal arts college. This propelled him to a very highly paid job to which he is chauffeured. His whole life was focused on becoming a better person academically and economically because his family was wealthy enough not to worry about day to day finances. In contrast, Mantsios describes Cheryl Mitchell. She is a 38 year old black woman who is a nurses aid making $15,820. Raised by her grandmother, while attending public school in Brooklyn, Cheryl works as a babysitter rather than improve her academics. Due to lack of funds, she quits her community college at 17 to work at a bakery. The difference between Harold and Cheryl is that their lives are directly related to the wealth of their parents. Harold could focus on his schooling and business skills to better his future as an employee whereas Cheryl had to drop out of school to work, just like she had throughout high school.
Not only does a parent’s economic status affect their children, but a person’s race and gender greatly deter economic advancement. Mantsios explains that “racial and gender domination are other forces that hold people down.” He believes that if a person is non-white or female, they will face oppression no matter the profession. “As women, they face discrimination and male domination.” “Similarly, a wealthy black man faces racial oppression.” Even if a person is able to advance themselves financially, they still face discrimination based on their appearance.
The American dream is a collection of ideas that say that hard work and determination will lead to success no matter your economic status: an idea which Mantsios argues against. Though there are four myths, the primary myth is that everyone from any social or economic background has an equal chance to succeed. However, a person’s life is greatly determined by their parents and economic bracket or physical appearance. Being a minority or female greatly increases you chances of being poor in America. Mantsios’ purpose throughout “Class in America—2003” is to show that America is not equal economically and is based on race and your parent’s economic bracket."
Is there anything I should change or add?
Paragraph 2
In America, economic data can show the massive differences between the rich and poor. Mantsios writes, “The wealthiest 1 percent of the American population holds 38 percent of the total national wealth.” Whereas, “one of every eight people in this country—live below the official poverty line.” How can so few own so much when so many can barely make it by? It shows that the idea of equal opportunity is not true. If every person wanted to become successful and be free from poverty, they would be able to in an equal opportune society. However, they are not able to. By continuing to show economic statistics, Mantsios further qualifies his claim. He also notes that when there is a boom in the economy, the income of the rich greatly increased where the income of the middle and lower class only increased slightly. Since the majority of Americans fall into the middle and lower class brackets, the few flourish while the many barely get by. By using many examples of economic differences to show that Americans are not equal economically, Mantsios illustrates his claim.
Class privileges are what a person is more likely to get from his economic status: a wealthy person will have much better privileges than a low wage worker. Mantsios tells the brief life stories of people from an upper, middle and lower class standing. By chronicling their lives, Mantsios shows that the upper class man, Harold S. Browning, succeeds very far to become the executive vice president of a digital instrument company because he had a wealthy family. From the time he was born he had good schooling and advanced tutoring in foreign language and mathematics. He was able to go to a highly renowned preparatory school and continued on to an Ivy League liberal arts college. This propelled him to a very highly paid job to which he is chauffeured. His whole life was focused on becoming a better person academically and economically because his family was wealthy enough not to worry about day to day finances. In contrast, Mantsios describes Cheryl Mitchell. She is a 38 year old black woman who is a nurses aid making $15,820. Raised by her grandmother, while attending public school in Brooklyn, Cheryl works as a babysitter rather than improve her academics. Due to lack of funds, she quits her community college at 17 to work at a bakery. The difference between Harold and Cheryl is that their lives are directly related to the wealth of their parents. Harold could focus on his schooling and business skills to better his future as an employee whereas Cheryl had to drop out of school to work, just like she had throughout high school.
Not only does a parent’s economic status affect their children, but a person’s race and gender greatly deter economic advancement. Mantsios explains that “racial and gender domination are other forces that hold people down.” He believes that if a person is non-white or female, they will face oppression no matter the profession. “As women, they face discrimination and male domination.” “Similarly, a wealthy black man faces racial oppression.” Even if a person is able to advance themselves financially, they still face discrimination based on their appearance.
The American dream is a collection of ideas that say that hard work and determination will lead to success no matter your economic status: an idea which Mantsios argues against. Though there are four myths, the primary myth is that everyone from any social or economic background has an equal chance to succeed. However, a person’s life is greatly determined by their parents and economic bracket or physical appearance. Being a minority or female greatly increases you chances of being poor in America. Mantsios’ purpose throughout “Class in America—2003” is to show that America is not equal economically and is based on race and your parent’s economic bracket.
Paragraph 3
Class privileges are what a person is more likely to get from his economic status: a wealthy person will have much better privileges than a low wage worker. Mantsios tells the brief life stories of people from an upper, middle and lower class standing. By chronicling their lives, Mantsios shows that the upper class man, Harold S. Browning, succeeds very far to become the executive vice president of a digital instrument company because he had a wealthy family. From the time he was born he had good schooling and advanced tutoring in foreign language and mathematics. He was able to go to a highly renowned preparatory school and continued on to an Ivy League liberal arts college. This propelled him to a very highly paid job to which he is chauffeured. His whole life was focused on becoming a better person academically and economically because his family was wealthy enough not to worry about day to day finances. In contrast, Mantsios describes Cheryl Mitchell. She is a 38 year old black woman who is a nurses aid making $15,820. Raised by her grandmother, while attending public school in Brooklyn, Cheryl works as a babysitter rather than improve her academics. Due to lack of funds, she quits her community college at 17 to work at a bakery. The difference between Harold and Cheryl is that their lives are directly related to the wealth of their parents. Harold could focus on his schooling and business skills to better his future as an employee whereas Cheryl had to drop out of school to work, just like she had throughout high school.
Not only does a parent’s economic status affect their children, but a person’s race and gender greatly deter economic advancement. Mantsios explains that “racial and gender domination are other forces that hold people down.” He believes that if a person is non-white or female, they will face oppression no matter the profession. “As women, they face discrimination and male domination.” “Similarly, a wealthy black man faces racial oppression.” Even if a person is able to advance themselves financially, they still face discrimination based on their appearance.
The American dream is a collection of ideas that say that hard work and determination will lead to success no matter your economic status: an idea which Mantsios argues against. Though there are four myths, the primary myth is that everyone from any social or economic background has an equal chance to succeed. However, a person’s life is greatly determined by their parents and economic bracket or physical appearance. Being a minority or female greatly increases you chances of being poor in America. Mantsios’ purpose throughout “Class in America—2003” is to show that America is not equal economically and is based on race and your parent’s economic bracket.
Paragraph 4
Not only does a parent’s economic status affect their children, but a person’s race and gender greatly deter economic advancement. Mantsios explains that “racial and gender domination are other forces that hold people down.” He believes that if a person is non-white or female, they will face oppression no matter the profession. “As women, they face discrimination and male domination.” “Similarly, a wealthy black man faces racial oppression.” Even if a person is able to advance themselves financially, they still face discrimination based on their appearance.
The American dream is a collection of ideas that say that hard work and determination will lead to success no matter your economic status: an idea which Mantsios argues against. Though there are four myths, the primary myth is that everyone from any social or economic background has an equal chance to succeed. However, a person’s life is greatly determined by their parents and economic bracket or physical appearance. Being a minority or female greatly increases you chances of being poor in America. Mantsios’ purpose throughout “Class in America—2003” is to show that America is not equal economically and is based on race and your parent’s economic bracket.
First thing -- you need to ditch that last sentence in your first paragraph and write a real thesis statement. In addition, is that title you've included in your first sentence the title of a book or of an article? Book titles need to be underlined or italicized; magazine or newspaper or journal articles need to have quotation marks.
Here are some good websites on thesis statements:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/thesis.htm
While you're working on those things, I'll read through the rest of your paper.
You also need to reread all words to double-check for any typos that spell-check didn't pick up. There are a few.
And you need to document/cite your work. Anything that you quote or paraphrase or summarize from someone else's writing needs to be clearly documented. If you don't know how to quote or paraphrase or cite properly, let me know.
Ok, outside of grammatical errors does the paper do a good job of explaining and proving a point? Also, is it acceptable to have two quotes back to back like I did?
You should always have explanation after a quotation. It's not a good idea to let the reader "assume" anything. You want to control what the reader understands from your paper. Having back-to-back quotations or quotations at the end of a paragraph or paper without explanation -- not good ideas.
I think you also need to reevaluate what the general idea of "the American dream" is -- it's not any guarantee that all will be successful. Read this and see how you will rephrase parts of your last paragraph:
http://www.answers.com/topic/american-dream
dud its awesoe
Your essay seems to be well-written and covers the main points of Gregory Mantsios' argument in "Class in America-2003." However, there are a few suggestions you can consider:
1. Introduction: Start your introduction with a clear thesis statement that summarizes Mantsios' main argument. For example, "In 'Class in America-2003,' Gregory Mantsios challenges the myth of equal opportunity in America by highlighting the influence of wealth, race, and class on an individual's socioeconomic status."
2. Structure: Organize your essay into paragraphs that focus on specific aspects of Mantsios' argument. For example, have separate paragraphs for discussing economic data, class privileges, and the role of race and gender. This will make your essay more organized and easier to follow.
3. Transition sentences: To improve the flow of your essay, use transition sentences or phrases to connect different paragraphs and ensure a smooth transition between ideas. For example, "In addition to examining economic data, Mantsios also provides compelling examples that illustrate the impact of class privileges."
4. Quotes and Analysis: Consider incorporating specific quotes from Mantsios' essay to support your arguments. Make sure to analyze and explain how each quote strengthens Mantsios' overall argument. This will provide additional evidence and depth to your essay.
5. Conclusion: Wrap up your essay by summarizing the key points and restating how Mantsios supports his thesis. A conclusion should not introduce new information, but rather reinforce the main ideas presented throughout the essay.
By implementing these suggestions, you can enhance the clarity, structure, and overall strength of your essay. Remember to proofread your work to check for grammatical errors or any unclear phrasing.