Assigment: write a business letter according to the background.
Background:Assume that you’ve worked for the last five years as an
administrative assistant for the Human Resources Department
of Broadworth General Hospital. The Director of Human
Resources, Miriam Hopkins, has charged you with organizing
a two-hour training seminar to be attended by the hospital’s
20 office supervisors. The seminar should cover sexual
harassment and unlawful discrimination in the workplace.
For the last 20 years, the hospital has contracted all training
through the nationally acclaimed Wydade Consulting
Services. Jeremy Dittmer, employee relations specialist, is
manager of the local branch of Wydade. He requires a threemonth
advance notice regarding any training Broadworth
needs so he can supply an appropriate trainer and any materials
that may be required. This is the first time you’ve dealt
directly with Mr. Dittmer.You must also make all necessary arrangements for the seminar, including time, date,
a room at the hospital for training, any resources the trainer needs, any materials those
who attend might need, and light refreshments for a 15-minute break.
Process:1. Create the necessary details for this scenario—for example, your title, the mailing
addresses for the hospital and consulting firm, the dates, the kinds of training
materials used, and so on.
2. Using either full block or modified block, draft a letter to Mr. Dittmer to set up the
seminar. Your letter must have at least two paragraphs and at least eight complete
sentences. Include the following items in your letter:
a. Thanks for the company’s reliable support
b. An explanation of the training need and any special topics to cover
c. A request for a trainer to teach the seminar
d. A request for a list of resources the trainer will need
This took me hours can you please check it for me:
BROADWORTH GENERAL HOSPITAL
6551 Cavendish Blvd.
Burlington, VT 05672-0882
March 21, 2012
Jeremy Dittmer
Employee Relations Specialist
Wydade Consulting Services
1918 Church St.
Burlington, VT 05672-0752
RE: Trainer request for hospital seminar
Dear Mr. Dittmer:
I am writing to you today to request a trainer for our seminar on sexual harassment and unlawful discrimination in the workplace for twenty of our office supervisors. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for Wydade’s reliable support in offering most of Broadworth’s training needs for the past 20 years.
I would like the seminar to be held on the 14th of September 2012 at 10 am. The seminar is to be two hours long with a 15-minute break that will provide refreshments. It will be held in our conference room on the first floor in room 105. The topics I would need to be covered for this seminar are ways to prevent, cope and report such harassment. At your convenience could you please send me a list of resources the trainer will need in order to make this seminar a success. I would also need to know what our supervisors should bring along with them to the seminar.
If you have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at 802-585-8668.
Sincerely,
Shawna Parker
Shawna Parker
Administrative Assitant
SP
It all looks good, but it would probably be better if the whole thing weren't filled with "I" -- I want this; I need that; I, I, I ...
Please take the time to read this aloud to someone else or (even better!) ask someone to read it aloud to you. See what you think.
Thanks I'll repost after work sometime this afternoon .
Thanks :)
YW! I look forward to reading it.
Overall, your letter is well-written and includes the necessary information. Here are a few suggestions to improve it:
1. In the opening paragraph, instead of saying "I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for Wydade's reliable support," you can rephrase it as "We would like to express our gratitude for Wydade's reliable support over the past 20 years."
2. In the second paragraph, where you mention the date and time of the seminar, you should also include the duration of the seminar (two hours) and the length of the break (15 minutes). This will provide Mr. Dittmer with a clear understanding of the schedule.
3. When requesting a list of resources the trainer will need, you can specify any specific materials or equipment that might be required, such as a projector or handouts. This will help Mr. Dittmer plan accordingly.
4. In the closing of the letter, it's a good practice to reiterate your appreciation for Mr. Dittmer's assistance and to include your contact information again for easy reference.
Here's an updated version of the letter:
BROADWORTH GENERAL HOSPITAL
6551 Cavendish Blvd.
Burlington, VT 05672-0882
March 21, 2012
Jeremy Dittmer
Employee Relations Specialist
Wydade Consulting Services
1918 Church St.
Burlington, VT 05672-0752
RE: Trainer request for hospital seminar
Dear Mr. Dittmer:
I am writing to request a trainer for our upcoming seminar on sexual harassment and unlawful discrimination in the workplace. First and foremost, I would like to express our gratitude for Wydade's reliable support in offering most of Broadworth's training needs for the past 20 years.
The seminar is scheduled to take place on the 14th of September 2012 at 10 am. It will be a two-hour session with a 15-minute break for attendees to refresh themselves. The venue for the seminar will be our conference room on the first floor, specifically room 105. During the seminar, we would like the trainer to cover ways to prevent, cope with, and report instances of harassment. To ensure the success of the seminar, could you please provide us with a list of resources the trainer will need, such as any necessary materials or equipment? Additionally, if there are any specific materials or items our supervisors should bring along, please let us know.
Thank you for your attention to this request. Should you have any further questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me directly at 802-585-8668.
Sincerely,
Shawna Parker
Administrative Assistant
Shawna Parker
Administrative Assistant
BROADWORTH GENERAL HOSPITAL
SP
With these changes, your letter should be ready to send. Good luck with your assignment!