Writeacher, I included a few sentences for you to check. I wonder if you coud help me organize my ideas more clearly.
1) Winston is tortoured by the Thoughtpolice and threatened that he will be attacked by rats, the thing which he hates most.
2) They make him believe that white is black and vice versa (they alter Winston's view of reality). His ability to think genuine emotions is completely eroded.
3) Thank you for answering my email so quickly.
4) All my students from class eleven (they are sixteen years old) are enthusiastic about the idea of corresponding with their Irish parners.
5) I'm including their class email address so that your students can start sending them their first emails.
6) It would be nice if your students could introduce themselves, talking about their daily routines and the things they are interested in. In this way, I can select students with similar (or matching??) interests.
7) It is important that they find topics they both like.As to mobility of both teachers and students, I would like to know if your school has already been involved in a similar project.
8) One last thing, would it possible to organize English summer courses at your school for groups of students (to be held in July or August)?
Have you already organized them? How much would the course and the accommodation for each student cost?
1) Winston is tortured by the Thoughtpolice, who threatened to attack him with rats, the thing he hates most.
2) They alter Winston's view of reality, making him believe that white is black and vice versa. His ability to feel genuine emotions is completely eroded.
3) OK
4) All my 16-year-old students in class eleven are enthusiastic about the idea of corresponding with their Irish partners.
5) OK
6) It would be nice if your students could introduce themselves, telling about their daily routines and the things they are interested in. In this way, I can select students with similar interests.
7) It is important that they find topics they both like. As to mobility of both teachers and students, I would like to know if your school has already been involved in a similar project.
I'm not sure "mobility" is the most accurate word to use here. It would probably be better to rephrase the first part of that sentence like this: As to student- and teacher-exchanges, ...
8) One last thing: Would it possible to organize English summer courses at your school for groups of students? Have you already organized them? How much would the course and the accommodation for each student cost?
1) First, let's focus on sentence 1: "Winston is tortured by the Thoughtpolice and threatened that he will be attacked by rats, the thing which he hates most." This sentence seems clear, but we can make it more concise by breaking it down into separate parts:
- "Winston is tortured by the Thoughtpolice"
- "He is threatened with an attack by rats, which is his greatest fear."
2) Sentence 2: "They make him believe that white is black and vice versa (they alter Winston's view of reality). His ability to think genuine emotions is completely eroded." Here, we can rephrase it by separating the ideas and using more precise language:
- "They manipulate Winston's perception of reality, making him believe that black is white and vice versa."
- "As a result, his ability to experience authentic emotions is completely eroded."
3) Sentence 3: "Thank you for answering my email so quickly." This sentence is clear and does not require any changes.
4) Sentence 4: "All my students from class eleven (they are sixteen years old) are enthusiastic about the idea of corresponding with their Irish partners." This sentence is well-structured and only requires minor adjustments:
- "All of my sixteen-year-old students from class eleven are enthusiastic about corresponding with their Irish partners."
5) Sentence 5: "I'm including their class email address so that your students can start sending them their first emails." This sentence is clear, but we can improve the clarity by rephrasing it slightly:
- "I have included their class email address, so your students can begin sending their first emails."
6) Sentence 6: "It would be nice if your students could introduce themselves, talking about their daily routines and the things they are interested in. In this way, I can select students with similar interests." This sentence can be refined by separating the ideas and adjusting the wording:
- "It would be wonderful if your students could introduce themselves, discussing their daily routines and their specific interests. This will allow me to match them with students who have similar interests."
7) Sentence 7: "It is important that they find topics they both like. As to mobility of both teachers and students, I would like to know if your school has already been involved in a similar project." This sentence is clear but can be made more concise by rephrasing and restructuring:
- "Finding common topics of interest is crucial. Additionally, I am interested in knowing whether your school has previously participated in similar projects regarding the mobility of both teachers and students."
8) Sentence 8: "One last thing, would it be possible to organize English summer courses at your school for groups of students (to be held in July or August)? Have you already organized them? How much would the course and the accommodation for each student cost?" This sentence contains multiple questions, which can be separated for clarity:
- "One last thing, I would like to inquire about the possibility of organizing English summer courses for groups of students at your school. Are these courses already organized? And if so, what would be the cost of the course and accommodation for each student?"
By following these steps and making slight adjustments to your sentences, you can organize your ideas more clearly and effectively convey your message.