english

I need help with my one paragraph (8 to 12 sentences in length) assignment. My biggest problem I believe is my topic sentence (which must be the first sentence of the paragraph). Also I need help with transitioning between one of my sentences.

The following is the scenario that I have been given to form my one paragraph assignment around:
Your cousin has moved to your town and is looking for a job. Her previous experiences are working as a cashier and sales clerk. You know she plans to apply at similar stores in your town but you known she is perfect for a job opening as a reliable assistant to your boss. You know she has the skills, though she doesn't think she is as capable as she is, and you're sure she'd be good at this job. The goal is to persuade her to apply for the job. You e-mail her a paragraph explaining the specifics of the job and the reasons she should apply. You want to convince her that she has the job skills required. You'll use an informal tone but will use the correct business writing to show her that you take your recommendation seriously.

I must use my imagination to create the kind of skills the job as boss's assistant requires, make up names for my boss and the company, as well as any facts that might help prove my case to my cousin.

I must organize details and explain using an order of importance pattern.

I must begin the topic sentence by establishing confidence in my cousin and spark her interest in applying for this job.

This is what I have writen:

Jodi, there is an office assistant job that you need to apply for here at Tekware as I know you have the skills and experience required to preform this job and believe you will be interested in the several benefits it has to offer you. My boss, Ms. Carol Brown, is currently seeking an assistant to organize and file documents, maintain and order office supplies, answer calls and take messages, write and edit documents, and prepare invoices. You will notice that these job duties are similar to the duties you preformed in your previous sales clerk and cashier positions. For example, you have experience in organizing from working at Little Tike Fashions where you were complimented by managers for your ability to maintain an organized clothing display area. Also, you can apply your knowledge of taking inventory, ordering, and restocking of clothing and apply that same process to office supplies. As well, working at Store-Mart gave you the know-how to effectively communicate with customers and will be helpful to you when dealing with clients on the telephone and in person. I know you had intended to apply for cashier and sales clerk positions however, if you apply for this job one benefit is that it pays $3.00 an hour more on average than cashier and sales clerk positions. Another benefit is that this job would beef up your resume by adding job experience in the business field which could land you a better job down the road. However, the biggest benefit of this job is that it’s 9 to 5, Monday through Friday and will therefore allow you to be free in the evenings to take the Business Administration classes that you’ve always wanted. Just imagine, you’ll be able to take classes to achieve your degree and at the same time be able to afford these classes, but all this will not be possible if you do not apply for the job. So please drop off your resume and cover letter at our office before March 1st so that you don’t miss out on this office assistant job.

asked by rita

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