Please check my essay to see if it's good. I edit and revise it MANY times and plus my teacher help me on the last paragraph.
The American Revolution
From 1763 through 1776 the American colonies sprit of rebellion was escalating. After a long period of being ignored, England put harder rules over the colonist. Economic, political, and social factors made the colonist take steps that led to their independence.
According to Document 1 and 3 it stated that England treats the colonies as if they were children. They always tax colonist so that way they won’t have any money. The British taxed them after the French and Indian war. The colonists were angry and tried to over throw the king. They didn't have a lot of rights. The British were highly trained & experienced troops, have the best navy in the world, ships move troops easily, and had loyalist support. They were hard to be defeated.
According to Document 6, in the Boston Massacre, British soldiers killed 5 colonists, Paul Revere’s painting “The Bloody Massacre is happening on King Street� increased anti – British feelings. This painting is no completely true. The reason why it’s not true is because it was the wrong number of the soldiers, there was snow, and the colonists were throwing snow and ice all the soldiers.
According to Document 7, Thomas Paine wrote “Common Sense�. They’re some quotes in Thomas Paine’s “Common Sense about Britain mistreating the colonies. He feels that Britain has been mistreating the colonies and “bullying� or fighting them. He asks the colonist to fight for independence as they were being mistreated by Britain rights such as life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.
According to Document 8, Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence in 1776. People are promised undeniable rights such as life, liberty, and pursuit happiness. If the government become harmful the colonist have the right to change or abolish (get rid of) a harmful government.
I showed two causes of the American Revolution. In addition, I describe two examples of colonial response to specific actions taken by the British since England put harder rules over the colonist.
Looks good, Laruen!
Thank You! :)
Finally! I'm done with all of my hw
u kno i had hw for all of my classes 2nite (besides content support, gym and orchestra)
i had hw for sci, math, eng, facs, and ss
thanks for helping me w/ my hw
have a wonderful night
see u online 2morrow
yes. really n.o.c
Overall, your essay touches on some important points about the American Revolution and the factors that led to it. However, there are a few areas where you could improve.
First, it would be helpful to provide a clear introduction that presents the main argument or thesis of your essay. This will provide a roadmap for the reader and help them understand the overall focus of your essay.
Next, you should consider revising the organization and structure of your paragraphs. Currently, you have a paragraph that discusses the British treatment of the colonies, followed by a paragraph about the Boston Massacre, then a paragraph about Thomas Paine's "Common Sense," and finally a paragraph about Thomas Jefferson's Declaration of Independence. It might be more effective to group related information together and use topic sentences to clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph.
Additionally, it's important to make sure that your statements are supported by evidence from your sources. In your paragraph about the British treatment of the colonies, you mention Document 1 and 3, but you don't provide any specific details or quotes from these documents to support your statements. Similarly, in your paragraph about the Boston Massacre, you mention Document 6 but don't explain how it relates to your point or provide any evidence from the document.
Lastly, be sure to proofread your essay for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. For example, there are a few instances where you use incorrect punctuation and misspellings ("colonist," "The British," "they won’t," "anti – British," "They’re").
To improve your essay, consider the following steps:
1. Begin with a clear introduction that presents your main argument.
2. Reorganize your paragraphs to create better flow and coherence.
3. Use evidence from your sources to support your statements and arguments.
4. Proofread your essay for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors.
By following these steps, you can further improve your essay on the American Revolution.