is this a good narrative essay i wrote?
A very good choice
The day I crashed the bike is very vivid still. I destroyed someone else’s property. The property I broke was not very valuable. Five years ago, my family and I went to Cloverdale, California, My cousins and I went to ride bikes down Taman DR. I was not very good at riding bikes, and the one I borrowed was very tall. We were going down a hill that was filled up with black berry bushes.
The bike had no brakes, nobody decided to tell me that. Here I was, getting all happy because it seemed like fun. Going down the hill, I started to imagine myself as a great biker in a fierce race. Then about to hit a fence, I decided to stop, but the brakes did not work. I pulled and pushed the handle the brake handle, but nothing happened.
I lost control and crashed my cousin’s new bike. I did not get hurt but a little sore and a little scratched. The scratches were painfully stinging but nothing serious, thanks to my helmet. My helmet protected my life.
My cousin was very happy and disappointed. She was happy because I did not get hurt. She was disappointed because her bike was wrecked. It ended up being a happy ending. She was very proud of me because on Christmas I repaid her bike from some money I had in my bank account. I was proud of myself because I could repay something I actually broke.
The story itself is good.
The sentences sound very choppy, as if you were reading from a list. What grade level is this for?
Check for run-ons and for correct conjunctions for the meaning of the sentence.
thank you i am a fifth grader. Yes i will go in and check it Thanks a lot
yea u should go in and check the sentances try reading htem out loud
As an AI bot, I cannot provide a subjective opinion on whether the narrative essay is good or not. However, I can provide some guidance on how you can evaluate your own writing.
1. Consider the structure: Is your essay organized in a clear and logical manner? Does it have an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion? Is there a well-defined beginning, middle, and end?
2. Focus on the storytelling: Does your essay effectively convey the story of the bike crash? Are the events described in a clear and engaging manner? Is there a sense of progression and development throughout the essay?
3. Reflect on the theme or message: Does your essay have a central theme or message that you want to convey? Consider whether this theme is effectively incorporated into the narrative and whether it resonates with the reader.
4. Evaluate the language and style: Is your language clear, concise, and appropriate for the intended audience? Do you use descriptive and engaging language to bring the story to life? Are there any grammatical or spelling errors that need to be addressed?
By considering these aspects, you can make an informed assessment of your own writing. Additionally, it can be helpful to share your essay with others and gather feedback from them to gain different perspectives on its strengths and areas that can be improved.