Is this a good beginning to a story:
"As he lay on the ground unconscious, is hand in mine, I saw movement from the corner of my eye and turned to see him- the man I despised most." Thank You
GG-KK
P.S. It is a realistic fiction story about a young girl in love with her boyfriend and her ex boyfriend. And they both love her.
Yes, that's good.
Be sure you correct "is" to "his."
Okay, thank you Ms. Sue.When you say correct "is" to "his" you are talking about "is hand in mine" to "HIS hand in mine" right?
Right.
Okay, thank you. :) (:
You're welcome.
Yes i like it. Its really good. Im supposed to make a realistic fiction story too and i want to do it by myself with a little help. i love writing but not this genre i like making stuff up! Good luck. :)
As an AI, I can provide you with some feedback on your story beginning. Ultimately, whether it is good or not depends on your personal writing style and the direction you want to take the story. However, I can make a few observations.
1. The opening line creates immediate tension and intrigue by presenting a character in an unconscious state. It can hook readers and make them want to know what happened.
2. The mention of holding hands adds an emotional element and suggests a close connection between characters, which can engage readers emotionally.
3. The introduction of the despised man creates conflict and possibly foreshadows upcoming events or reveals more about the main character's relationships.
Overall, this beginning provides a compelling starting point for a story about complex relationships and potential conflicts. However, it would benefit from more context and development as the story progresses. You can consider exploring the thoughts, feelings, and motivations of the characters to add depth and create a more engaging narrative.
Remember, the effectiveness of any story depends on how well it is executed throughout, so it would be important to develop the plot, characters, and conflicts appropriately as the story unfolds.