Please proofread my Essay

Could you please check for fragments, pronoun agreement, and tell me if I use first person all the way through. Thanks! Here is the format I am suppose to be following:

a. Have an Introduction: Your introduction will tell readers what you knew about the topic before starting research, why you chose it, what you hope to find out or prove about it or how you think it will turn out during your study of it. This should be a minimum of a half of a page and a maximum of two pages. Remember that this should contain a thesis statement that will help to focus the paper.

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asked by Soly
  1. Points of View

    The essay I’m about to write is going to be about the points of view of two people named Anne and Peter and I will be choosing one of the two to agree with. There is two different point of views that I am able to choose from. This is going to be a tricky one to choose. But... I will be choosing to agree with Peter.
    I chose to correspond with Peter’s point of view. His point of view about life was lousy and horrible. In this play, Peter wasn’t an outgoing person. Out of the kids in this play, Perter was the kid that thought about all the negative in everything and never saw the positive. Peter wasn’t the type of kid that had many friends due to his lack of communication skills. He was the kid that never expressed his feelings or thoughts, unless he was talking to Anne.
    I chose correspond with Peter’s point of view because if I was to have to go into hiding I’d hate it just as much as he did or probably more. I’ve been in similar situations as him, like being in thousands of different placements for long periods of time is kind of having to be in hiding. You can’t see your friends, your other family members, you can’t go to school, and you can’t go outside whenever you want. I also have to agree because of how I look at the world due to my experience with different parts of life. Peter has a perfect reason to not like the world. In the time frame he is in, it was probably common for people to feel like that. If I was in his shoes I’d feel like all hope was gone. I mean their hope was gone. They got caught/blackmailed and sent to concentration camps. Okay, Peter is actually Peter van Daan. But he's a little bit like Peter Pan—he's mesmerizing, innocent, and more than a little reluctant to grow up.
    Anne’s point of view is the total opposite of Peters point of view. Anne thinks life is all good people and a good world

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    posted by Jazlynn

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