1. Questions

sentence stucture

Hello, I'm trying to proofread my 8 page paper and I have come up with some uncertainties about some of my sentence structure. These are the some of the sentences I am not sure are correct or perhaps needs improvement.

1)People most often look for social, emotional, intellectual (not necessarily the same education, but someone who can understand them), and sexual compatibility.

2)He or she may also look at his or her partner’s socioeconomics status and religious religious beliefs; in order to find compatible similarities among them.

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Bizzy

  1. I'm not sure if my example is a good one? I am saying the social factor in this example is age? Am I right? I don't want to be wrong and use this as an example to my argument.

    For instance, studies have shown that teenagers who get married as a means to escape from their parents’ household may result in divorce. The social factor in this example is age. The Primary Prevention Model suggests the age of the couple will determine the results of their marriage. Those who oppose efforts of the Primary Prevention Model often choose to ignore the correlations between social factors and causation because they believe these correlations are not enough proof to indicate what the future of the relationship will be like (Handout 44).

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    Bizzy

  2. 3)Married couples who do not have compatible personalities may risk having more emotional problems and divorce is usually the result of emotional problems.

    Should I delete "of emotional problems" at the end of this sentence to make it sound better?

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    Bizzy

  4. 4) Indigenous caregivers are people couples can go to for help when they need immediate assistance.

    Where it says "people couples" to me it sounds odd. How can I make it sound better?

    5) For example, a teacher or doctor can help provide certain resources the couples are in need of to save their marriage.

    This one sounds odd too. I don't like how I wrote these sentences, but I don't know who to fix them. I'll appreciate your help. Thanks!

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    Bizzy

  5. 1)People most often look for social, emotional, intellectual (not necessarily the same education, but someone who can understand them), and sexual compatibility.

    I would suggest leaving the phrase in parentheses out of this sentence. It is not needed and would better fit in a paragraph explaining compatibility if you need it.

    2)He or she may also look at his or her partner’s socioeconomics status and religious beliefs; in order to find compatible similarities among them

    Instead of using he/she/his/her... I would suggest using "one may look at one's partner's..." I think I would rephrase the last 4 words... areas of compatibility... would work better.

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    GuruBlue

  6. Yes.....

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    GuruBlue

  8. I don't believe you want the word Indigenous here. A better way of phrasing that would be - Counselors are available for help when couples need immediate assistance.

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    GuruBlue

  9. GuruBlue has made some really excellent suggestions.

    One little thing -- that semicolon after "beliefs" needs to be deleted -- no punctuation is necessary there.

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    Writeacher

  10. Thank you both for your help! I appreciate it. =)

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    Bizzy

  12. You're welcome -- from both of us!

    =)

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    Writeacher

  13. I ALWAYS HAVE PROBLEM WENT WRITING SENTENCES LEAVE OUT VERBS, NOUNS AND THE ADJECTIVE

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    THEORDIA

  14. write own sentece using gardener and sprout

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    carlos

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