world history

Need Thesis help for essay on....this is the question being answered:
Prompt: Hinduism, Confucianism and Buddhism are three of the world’s great belief systems. Compare and contrast their impact on the societies that embraced them.

I started this thesis, but am trying to make it better and need help with ending.....

Thesis: Although Hinduism, Confucianism and Buddhism are three of the world’s great belief systems, each greatly impacted the social, political and religious life of their countries of origin, as well as the countries to which they spread. While all three belief systems were vital to the social and religious life of their countries, both Hinduism and Confucianism imposed political social order, whereas Buddhism stressed importance on ……??.....

I'm unsure how to say that Buddhism didn't have a political impact like Confucianism and Hinduism did. Please help fix my thesis to match the prompt.

I need help making a good thesis for this essay. Thank you.

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  1. One - what you have written as a "thesis" is far too long. Those sentences can become part of your introductory paragraph, but your thesis needs to be ONE SENTENCE.

    Concentrate on this: " ... Buddhism didn't have a political impact like Confucianism and Hinduism did."

    I would change the word "impact" to effects or influence or results (since none of those religions actually HIT anything).

    Here are some major ideas about thesis-writing:
    Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)

    http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
    Read carefully and follow ALL directions.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
    This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.

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  2. Let me know what you come up with; then we can work to make the wording stronger, if you need to.

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  3. Although Hinduism, Confucianism and Buddhism are three of the world’s great belief systems, each greatly influenced the social, political and religious life of their countries of origin, as well as the countries to which they spread. While all three belief systems were vital to the social and religious life of their countries, Buddhism didn't have a political impact on the societies that embraced them like Confucianism and Hinduism did.

    Do you know where I can find a list of differences and similarities for Hinduism, Confucianism and Buddhism to write about? Thanks for your help.

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