I selected the five I was most doubtful about. Thank you.
1) Your paragraph lacks an introduction as well as a conclusion. You referred to the requested topic only near the end of your paragraph.
2) You wandered off the subject focusing your attention on the description of the ballad instead of that of the ice.
3) Some of your sentences are incomplete or don't make sense since the main verb or the object is missing. (they lack either the verb or the object).
4) In the poem Daffodils Wordsworth recounts of a walk he went on with his sister Dorothy in the Lake District.
5) A lot of factories sprang up (I need a synonym: were built) all over England. Working conditions improved with the Factory Acts, stating that employment of children under the age of 11 was forbidden by law. (which made .... illegal by law??)
There are many missing commas.
A poem's title needs to be in quotation marks -- "Daffodils"
3. Both phrasings are fine.
4. ... recounts a walk ...
5. Yes, "were built" is fine. Delete the words in parentheses.