How could I improve this thesis statement? “Most people do not feel it is their obligation or responsibility; however, there are personal benefits from community service.”
The thesis statement is NOT the place to deal with your opposition! The thesis is where YOU state your topic and what YOU think about it -- your position, your stance.
Your thesis statement must include factual information plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
Read carefully and follow ALL directions.
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.
So ... delete the first part of this, and build on the second part.