Please can you give me some feedback and any advice on how to improve my argument essay on the topic "Zoos are important places" Also if you have any further ideas I could include. Many thanks for you help.
By 2050, 30% of the world’s wildlife will have disappeared. Over a million species could be driven to extinction. It is devastating to think this could happen within our lifetime. The truth is, zoos are more vital today than they have ever been before. Some people believe it is inhumane to keep animals in captivity.
But zoos are important places. They have an essential role to play in protecting and preserving our natural wildlife. Zoos have three main purposes. Conservation, research and education. They also ensure animals are kept safe from cruelty and exploitation.
Zoos are important places because they play a major role in the conservation of endangered species.
For example, poachers in India continue to poison waterholes and set snares to kill white tigers, selling their body parts for use in traditional medicine. Without zoos, they would be wiped out of existence. Opponents
of zoos argue that animals should roam free but our wildlife are the target of lethal predators and hunters. The criminal trading of skins, ivory and fur, are lucrative black markets. Zoos provide refuge for our precious wildlife. Zoos are able to prevent species from becoming extinct by carefully managed breeding progammes. For example, a deadly, facial tumour disease has been threatening the survival of the Tasmanian Devil in Australia. Taronga Zoo is working to control the plague and sustain healthy population numbers. Eventually the marsupials will be released back into their natural habitat. Zoos can ensure the survival of species otherwise vulnerable to the dangers of the wild. They also save the lives of many injured or orphaned animals. Trained professionals provide nutritious diets and quality medical care. Zoos are important places as they provide a safe haven for at risk creatures and ensure preservation for future generations.
Secondly, zoos are vital are important places for education and research. Modern zoos are not just for entertainment. For example, visitors learn valuable first-hand lessons about flora and fauna. Zoos create ecological awareness and encourage people to respect and value animals. Zoos are involved in many signficant scientific projects. For example, studying monkeys in captivity has shown that intelligent primates are stimulated by mental challenges. So now many zoos are giving them games and puzzles to solve in their enclosures. Observing animals close-up helps us to better understand animal behaviour. 21st Century living has had a negative impact on the environment, with global warming destroying many natural habitats. For example, the homes of Antarctic polar bears are simply melting away! Pollution has contaminated waterways and marine life have been found with toxic levels of mercury, dead in oil spills, or choked to death by rubbish. Droughts, deforestation, and industrialization have left many animals homeless. For example, roads and railways in the mountainous forests of China have ruined the living areas of the giant panda. Habitat destruction has led to food shortages, increasing the risk of starvation. Urban sprawl has meant zoos are more important places than ever.
Finally, zoos ensure animals are protected from cruelty and exploitation. For example, in Bulgaria, bears
are trained to dance on painful hot plates. The animals suffer greatly. Zoos can safeguard animals from abuse. They also guard animals from being taken advantage of for money. For example, having a photo taken with a gibbon in Thailand might seem like a nice souvenir but did you know these animals have often been drugged and beaten to make them more docile for tourists? This mistreatment is unacceptable. We need to ensure animals have rights. Zoos treat animals with kindness and care for them in comfort. Zoos are important places because they offer animals security.
Zoos help care for precious wildlife. They aim to educate people about the needs of animals and teach the value of conservation. Animals in zoos are kept safe from poachers and human inflicted abuse. Without captive breeding many endangered species would be extinct. The threat of urban sprawl, pollution, and global warming have put animals at risk in their natural environments. Today the need for preservation is greater than ever. Zoos play an essential role in protecting the welfare of animals and are indeed very important places.
The content seems fine although it's not a topic that's hotly argued!
There are a few mechanical things to find and correct, such as the need for a colon here (to correct the fragment):
Zoos have three main purposes. Conservation, research and education.
Where should the colon go?
In addition, you need to go through and make sure there are no redundancies (repetition of ideas too close together) such as this: the target of lethal predators
Thank you for you help. Sam
You're welcome.
Overall, your argument essay on the topic "Zoos are important places" is well-structured and effectively presents your points. Here are some feedback and suggestions to further improve your essay:
1. Introduction: Your introduction effectively engages the reader with statistics and a sense of urgency. Consider adding a brief anecdote or a rhetorical question to further capture the reader's attention and make the introduction more compelling.
2. Thesis statement: Your thesis statement clearly states that zoos are important places and briefly mentions their main purposes. However, consider expanding it to include a preview of the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs. This will provide the reader with a roadmap of the essay.
3. Body paragraphs: Each body paragraph presents a clear argument in support of zoos. To improve the flow of your essay, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph to connect your ideas. For example, you can start the second body paragraph with "In addition to conservation efforts, zoos are also vital for education and research."
4. Supporting evidence: You have provided strong evidence to support your arguments, such as specific examples of endangered species being protected in zoos and the negative impacts of human activities on the environment. To further strengthen your essay, consider incorporating more statistics, data, or expert opinions from credible sources. This will enhance the credibility and persuasiveness of your arguments.
5. Counterarguments: To address the opposing view that zoos are inhumane, consider including a paragraph dedicated to acknowledging and refuting counterarguments. This will demonstrate that you have considered different perspectives and strengthen your overall argument.
6. Conclusion: Your conclusion effectively restates your thesis and summarizes your main points. Consider ending the essay with a thought-provoking statement or a call to action to leave a lasting impression on the reader and motivate them to take action.
In terms of ideas to include, you have covered several important points. However, you could also discuss the role of zoos in reintroducing animals back into the wild and supporting conservation efforts in their natural habitats. Additionally, you can explore the partnerships between zoos and local communities in promoting environmental awareness and sustainability.
Remember to proofread your essay for grammar and spelling errors, and consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to further improve your essay. Overall, your essay effectively argues that zoos are important places, and with these suggestions, it can become even stronger and more persuasive.