need your Opinion please before submitting

assignment
Background
You’ve applied for a specific job in your field of study. The Human Resources Department arranges an
interview and tells you to bring with you a polished piece of writing for them to evaluate your writing
skills. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided
you to choose the type of position for which you applied.
Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show you have thought carefully
about what and/or who has motivated you toward this career choice and why. In addition, you want
to convey your enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience. Take time to
think about what your audience wants to know and strive to reach a balance between informal and
formal business writing.

I am a student at Penn-Foster studying Medical billing and Coding looking to enhance my career and eventually own a business in processing claims. Your job posting was in my database which fits my job description as a claims processing specialist. I am applying for a job at the Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC, which offers an equal opportunity for employers and superb educational opportunities plus tuition assistance with some of the most sophisticated treatments and technology available. What experienced me to be in the medical field was the lack of jobs available to society as of now and my own personal experience I got laid off as a marketing agent representative then had a job related accident had sciatica for almost a year that permitted me not to stay within the field so I couldn’t perform my job duties with continuous therapy sessions. The service I had with the insurance claims was dreadful with lack of knowledge of my condition which leads to long conversations with medication. As a claim processing specialist with Georgetown University Hospital I will ensure that claims meet billing guidelines and ensure supporting documentation is provided at the time of claim submission to facilitate timely reimbursements. I have a minimum of one year experience in the medical billing environment and knowledge of accounts receivable practices, medical business office procedures and most important third party payer billing experience. Working for you will give me the knowledge to farther by career and the excitement with working for one of the largest healthcare delivery networks in the area.

My opinion is that you won't get this job.

You've focused on your problems, not on how you can help this hospital.

ok thank you i revised it

I am a student at Penn-Foster studying Medical billing and Coding looking to enhance my career and eventually own a business in processing claims. Your job posting caught my interest and fits my job description as a claims processing specialist at the Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC, which offers an equal opportunity for employers and superb educational opportunities plus tuition assistance with some of the most sophisticated treatments and technology available. What inspired me to be in the medical field was the lack of jobs available to society as of now and my own personal experience I got laid off as a marketing agent representative then had a job related accident and was out of work for almost a year that permitted me not to stay within the field. I was unable to perform my job duties with continuous therapy sessions. The service I had with the insurance claims was dreadful with lack of knowledge of my condition which leads to long conversations. The Medical billing and coding industry increased by 50% in the last year. This motivated me to gain interest in becoming a claim processing specialist with Georgetown University Hospital because it’s an industry that society is depending on. I have a minimum of one year experience in the medical billing environment and knowledge of accounts receivable practices, medical business office procedures and most important third party payer billing experience. I will provide excellent service for HCFA-1500 claim forms electronically and on paper accurately and timely. Also I will ensure that claims meet billing guidelines for assigned carriers. Maintain tracking system to ensure claims submission to carrier billing requirements, and assisting in changes to system and manual billing process. My perfection is to ensure supporting documentation is provided at the time of claim submission to facilitate timely and accurate reimbursements.

I am a student at Penn-Foster studying Medical billing and Coding looking to enhance my career and eventually own a business in processing claims. Your job posting caught my interest and fits my job description as a claims processing specialist at the Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC, which offers an equal opportunity for employers and superb educational opportunities plus tuition assistance with some of the most sophisticated treatments and technology available. What inspired me to be in the medical field was the lack of jobs available to society as of now and my own personal experience I got laid off as a marketing agent representative then had a job related accident and was out of work for almost a year that permitted me not to stay within the field. I was unable to perform my job duties with continuous therapy sessions. The service I had with the insurance claims was dreadful with lack of knowledge of my condition which leads to long conversations. The Medical billing and coding industry increased by 50% in the last year. This motivated me to gain interest in becoming a claim processing specialist with Georgetown University Hospital because it’s an industry that society is depending on. I have a minimum of one year experience in the medical billing environment and knowledge of accounts receivable practices, medical business office procedures and most important third party payer billing experience. I will provide excellent service for HCFA-1500 claim forms electronically and on paper accurately and timely. Also I will ensure that claims meet billing guidelines for assigned carriers. Maintain tracking system to ensure claims submission to carrier billing requirements, and assisting in changes to system and manual billing process. My perfection is to ensure supporting documentation is provided at the time of claim submission to facilitate timely and accurate reimbursements.

sorry but for the extras this is the final draft

I am a student at Penn-Foster studying Medical billing and Coding looking to enhance my career. And eventually own my personal business in processing claims. Your job posting caught my interest and fits my job description as a claims processing specialist at the Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC, which offers an equal opportunity for employers and superb educational opportunities plus tuition assistance with some of the most sophisticated treatments and technology available. What inspired me to be in the medical field was the lack of jobs available to society as of now and my own personal experience I got laid off as a marketing agent representative then had a job related accident and was out of work for almost a year that permitted me not to stay within the field with continuous therapy sessions. The service I had with the insurance claims was dreadful with lack of knowledge of my condition which leads to long conversations. The Medical billing and coding industry increased by 50% in the last year. This motivated me to gain interest in becoming a claim processing specialist with Georgetown University Hospital because it’s an industry that society is depending on. I have a minimum of one year experience in the medical billing environment and knowledge of accounts receivable practices, medical business office procedures and most important third party payer billing experience. I will provide excellent service for HCFA-1500 claim forms electronically and on paper accurately and timely. Also I will ensure that claims meet billing guidelines for assigned carriers. Maintain tracking system to ensure claims submission to carrier billing requirements, and assisting in changes to system and manual billing process. My perfection is to ensure supporting documentation is provided at the time of claim submission to facilitate timely and accurate reimbursements

Thamk you so much

Your paragraph is informative and provides a good background about yourself and your motivation for pursuing a career in medical billing and coding. However, there are some areas that could be improved to make your writing more polished and engaging for your potential employer. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Start with a strong opening sentence that grabs the reader's attention. For example: "I am a dedicated Medical Billing and Coding student at Penn-Foster, fueled by a passion to enhance my career and eventually establish my own business in processing claims."

2. Clearly state the position you are applying for and why it aligns with your career goals. This will show your employer that you have done your research and are specifically interested in their organization. For example: "I am applying for the position of Claims Processing Specialist at Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC. Your organization not only offers equal opportunity for employees, but also provides exceptional educational opportunities and tuition assistance, alongside access to cutting-edge treatments and technology."

3. Provide more details about the experience that inspired or guided you to choose this career path. Be specific and concise in explaining your personal journey. For example: "I was driven to enter the medical field due to the scarcity of job opportunities in society. After being laid off as a marketing agent representative, I experienced a job-related accident that led to sciatica and nearly a year of therapy. During this time, I encountered the challenges of dealing with insurance claims and the frustration caused by a lack of understanding and support for my condition."

4. Emphasize your qualifications and skills that make you a strong candidate for the position. Mention any relevant experience and knowledge you have gained in the medical billing environment. For example: "As a Claims Processing Specialist at Georgetown University Hospital, I will ensure that claims meet billing guidelines and provide necessary documentation for timely reimbursements. With more than one year of experience in the medical billing industry, I have developed expertise in accounts receivable practices, medical business office procedures, and third party payer billing."

5. Conclude by expressing your enthusiasm for the position and the opportunity to work for their organization. Show that you have thoughtfully considered what motivates you and how it aligns with the company's goals. For example: "Working for Georgetown University Hospital would not only further my career goals, but also provide me with valuable knowledge and the excitement of being a part of one of the largest healthcare delivery networks in the area. I am eager to contribute my skills and passion to your team."

Remember to proofread your paragraph for any grammatical or spelling errors before submitting it. Good luck with your application!