hi everyone someone can say me if my dialogue it's good and say me also about the fault:)thnaks
This scene takes place at Brian's parents home.
Banks informs his wife about the call he has just had with their son
"Sandra you can come and sit down next to me please,I would like to talk about something".He says proudly .
"Ok wait i come!!"She says loudly.
"I am here!i am listen to you!"She says.
"I spoke with our son today and he told me about the esult of his exam which is not very good"He says bitterly.
"Realy!How has he had got in his exam?She reply.
"He...(hesitantly)he got a third"He says angrily.
"What!! a third!! this is a very a very bad result"She says crossly.
"Yeah i know darling,and he told me also that he would like to make career in the music business"He add.
"He really said that?!I can not believe to my hours.When i think that i have done everything for him does not become like you.if you had cared for him properly, who knows maybe he would have been more than that"She says loudly.
"Like me!why you say that?!"He says crossly.
"Like father,like son!After all you had not better at his age!I am not reason?"
Banks in these words found nothing to say and and go away the living room.
I'll correct everything this one time. So study hard, especially on phrasal verbs -- " target="_blank">http://www.eslcafe.com/pv/
Hi, everyone. Would someone tell me if my dialogue is good and also what the mistakes are? Thanks.
This scene takes place at Brian's parents' home. Banks informs his wife about the call he has just had with their son.
"Sandra, come and sit down next to me, please. I would like to talk about something," he says proudly.
"OK, wait and I'll come!!" she says loudly. "I am here! I am listening to you!"
"I spoke with our son today, and he told me about the result of his exam, which is not very good," he said bitterly.
"Really! What was his grade on his exam?" she replies.
He hesitated and said, angrily, "He ...he got a third."
"What? A third!! This is a very bad result," she says crossly.
"Yeah, I know darling, and he also told me that he would like to have a career in the music business," he adds.
"He really said that?! I cannot believe my ears. When I think that I have done everything for him, yet he does not want to become like you! If you had cared for him properly, who knows ... maybe he would have been more than that," she says loudly.
"Like me? Why do you say that?" he asks crossly.
"Like father, like son! After all, you had not better at his age! I am not reason?"
Banks had nothing to say to her, and he went into the living room.
Be sure to check EVERYTHING -- capital letters, spaces, punctuation, word choice -- EVERYTHING! Also, I don't understand what you want to say in the underlined sections.
It seems like you're looking for feedback on your dialogue. Here are some comments and suggestions:
1. Use proper punctuation: Make sure to use punctuation marks correctly, such as periods, commas, and question marks. This helps make the dialogue more clear and easier to read.
2. Capitalization: Begin each sentence with a capital letter, especially at the start of new dialogue.
3. Formatting: It would be helpful to separate the dialogue into different paragraphs to make it easier to follow.
4. Spelling and grammar: Check for any spelling or grammatical errors. Proofreading your text can help eliminate mistakes.
5. Clarity and flow: Some parts of the dialogue can be made clearer by adding more descriptive language. For example, instead of saying "he got a third," you can say "he received a score of third in his exam." This adds more clarity and helps the reader better understand the situation.
Overall, your dialogue can be improved with proper punctuation, capitalization, formatting, and proofreading. Additionally, adding more descriptive language can enhance the clarity and flow of the conversation.