This is a final essay. Can someone please read over it and let me know where they think I need improvement.
Even though People feel as if their past debt management mistakes should not count against them, credit scores are a fair measure to help lenders estimate potential risk because a credit score can be improved, and it is based on one’s credit history that he or she had built. A credit score is the greatest factor that lenders consider while making their decision. A credit score can determine if a barrower will be approved for a loan, the amount of interest that would be charged, and the credit limit on the loan ("Your Credit Score," n.d.).
One argument that many have about lenders using a credit score to determine a risk factor is that they do not fully understand what a credit score is. A credit score is a numerical rating that may range from 300-850 ("Credit Score," 2004-2011) it is based on information within a credit file. This number helps lenders predict how likely it is that you will make your payments in full and on time. The higher a credit score is better chances of obtaining approval for a loan with lower interest rates. Credit scores have sped up the process of a loan approval. With three different credit reporting agencies Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion; all three agencies use the same calculator system to figure out a score it is called the Fair Isaac Corporation (FICO). Even though they may all use the FICO system, a score may differ in points from each agency, as a result of incorrect or inadequate information ("Credit Score," 2004-2011). That is why it is very important to at least once a year request a copy of a credit report. Every person is allowed one free credit report a year, from all three agencies.
Many people argue that a low score should count against them when they are trying to apply for a loan or any line of credit. Knowledge of the five steps ("Credit Score," 2004-2011) used in reporting on a credit report can help to improve a score and ensure them a better chance of an approval. The five steps are payment history, outstanding debt, length of credit, different types of credit, and credit inquiries. Payment history accounts for 35% of a credit score, it consists of bills paid on time and any collections on accounts. Payment history is also where a lender can see the amounts due on past delinquent accounts, and the number of accounts paid as agreed. Outstanding debt accounts for 30% of the credit score, it is the amount of money still owed on loans cards, and any source of credit that you have. Length of credit accounts for 15% of a score, the older the accounts better and the time since there was any activity on the accounts. Lenders do not like to see many new accounts. Different types of credit accounts for 10% of a credit score, the different kinds of credit are credit cards, charge cards, store cards, personal loans, line of credit loans, mortgages, and payday loans. Lenders like to see different types on a credit report not just credit cards. Finally credit inquiries account for 10% of a credit score, it shows how much time since you applied for any credit and if there are too many inquiries it will lower your score and lenders look at it as if you are just looking for money. Also this part of the credit report shows how many new accounts have been opened. A credit report starts with the first credit account opened. A credit score must calculate all of the factors mentioned, it cannot just use selected information. A credit score is based completely off one’s debt management skills.
Many people do not know that a credit score also makes credit decisions fairer because lenders cannot use or rely on their personal feelings of a barrower. With many factors that do not count against a person in his or her credit report. A credit score does not discriminate on a person because of his or her age, sex, race, religion, nationality, or marital status. A person’s employment history, salary, occupation, or job title does not have anything to do with calculating a credit score. However, a lender may consider this information if it is provided. Also a credit report cannot report if a person has or ever had any form of public assistance.
Another argument is that there is no way to improve a score and that a person will always have a bad score. A credit score is not concrete there are many steps that can be taken to improve a credit score. You can start ("Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System," n.d.) by checking your credit report for any errors, and if there are any dispute them. Make larger payments on credit cards. By making larger payments you are paying down the amount due faster. Stop using credit cards for a while; this will allow you to pay the debt down. Make all of your monthly payments in full and on time, with every payment made it will reflect positively on your score. Be sure to address any collections head on. Finally create a credit monitoring plan. Once you have taken the steps to improve your credit score you should keep a close eye on it. Bad credit scoring does not haunt a person forever ("Credit Score," 2004-2011).
Credit scores are a fair measure to help lenders estimate potential risk because a consumer builds his or her own credit score. A score is based off of their own choices and credit monitoring skills. A person with a low credit score as a result of not making payments in full or on time, outstanding debt, and an outrageous debt to income ratio should not be approved for a loan or any line of credit.
Why is the word People capitalized in the first sentence?
Is based.....has built (Present Perfect is better with the Present Tense, rather than the Past Perfect which is used with the Past Tense.
barrower = borrower (spelling error)
punctuation needed here = "300-850 ("Credit Score," 2004-2011)X it is based on "
Generally I see a problem with punctuation. Read this aloud to see if you wouldn't like a few commas to prevent misreading something. Skimming up and down, up and down, I do not guarantee that I caught everything, but most things.
Some day, if you've the inclination and/or the time, I'll tell you about my horror with a bad credit report that should not have been! (Now, back to your essay which states everything quite clearly.)
"The higher a credit score is, THE better the chancwes, etc."
run-on sentence here without proper punctuation = to figure out a score; it is called (add semicolon)
a low score should NOT count against = I believe you meant this to be negative?
30% of the credit score; it is the amount (not a comma but a semicolon or a new sentence)
the older the accounts, THE better, and (some commas for easier reading + "the")
Paragraph beginning with "Many people do not know....." barrower misspelled again = borrower
With many factors...is NOT a complete sentence, so after "report" try a comma and lower-case letter "a" credit score
does not discriminate AAINST (better than on, in my opinion)
Now, hold this sentence in mindd, because a later sentence seems to contradict it)...that a person will always have a bad score. (could you make it clearer that it is an opinion and not fact?)*** (look for these asterisks for the other sentence)
A credit score is not complete there are many steps = run-on sentence that you can fix with a semicolon after "complete; there are..."
and if there are any, dispute them (without a comma, it's easy to misread this sentence
**(*Bad credit scoring does not haunt a person forever. (And therein lies my story!)
,and an outrageous debt to income ratio, should not (add a comma to avoid misreading)
Now, if you have time, you could make all the corrections and repost for final proofreading. Most of the teachers will not proofread (because it takes time) but I will because I teach many foreign languages and so I do proofreading as second nature.
Sra (aka Mme)
Thamk you!
Could you proofread this again please?
Even though people feel as if their past debt management mistakes should not count against them, credit scores are a fair measure to help lenders estimate potential risk because a credit score can be improved, and it is based on one’s credit history. A credit score is the greatest factor that lenders consider while making their decision. A credit score can determine if a borrower will be approved for a loan, the amount of interest that would be charged, and the credit limit on the loan ("Your Credit Score," n.d.).
One argument that many have about lenders using a credit score to determine a risk factor is that they do not fully understand what a credit score is. A credit score is a numerical rating that may range from 300-850 ("Credit Score," 2004-2011); it is based on information within a credit file. This number helps lenders predict how likely it is that you will make your payments in full and on time. The higher a credit score is, the better chances of obtaining approval for a loan with lower interest rates. Credit scores have sped up the process of a loan approval process. With three different credit reporting agencies Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion people feel that a credit score is not a fair report for a lender to use because there may be a small difference in the points depending on the agency that the report was pulled from. All three agencies use the same calculator system to figure out a score; it is called the Fair Isaac Corporation (FICO). Even though they may all use the FICO system, a score may differ in points from each agency, as a result of incorrect or inadequate information ("Credit Score," 2004-2011). That is why it is very important to at least once a year request a copy of a credit report. Every person is allowed one free credit report a year, from all three agencies.
Many people argue that a low score should not count against them when they are trying to apply for a loan or any line of credit. Knowledge of the five steps ("Credit Score," 2004-2011) used in reporting on a credit report can help to improve a score and ensure them a better chance of an approval. The five steps are payment history, outstanding debt, length of credit, different types of credit, and credit inquiries. Payment history accounts for 35% of a credit score, it consists of bills paid on time and any collections on accounts. Payment history is also where a lender can see the amounts due on past delinquent accounts, and the number of accounts paid as agreed. Outstanding debt accounts for 30% of the credit score; it is the amount of money still owed on loans or cards, and any source of credit that you have. Length of credit accounts for 15% of a score, the older the accounts, the better and the time since there was any activity on the accounts. Lenders do not like to see many new accounts. Different types of credit accounts for 10% of a credit score, the different kinds of credit are credit cards, charge cards, store cards, personal loans, line of credit loans, mortgages, and payday loans. Lenders like to see different types on a credit report not just credit cards. Finally credit inquiries account for 10% of a credit score, it shows how much time since you applied for any credit and if there are too many inquiries it will lower your score and lenders look at it as if you are just looking for money. Also this part of the credit report shows how many new accounts have been opened. A credit report starts with the first credit account ever opened. A credit score must calculate all of the factors mentioned, it cannot just use selected information. A credit score is based completely off one’s debt management skills.
Many people do not know that a credit score also makes credit decisions fairer because lenders cannot use or rely on their personal feelings of a borrower. With many factors that do not count against a person in his or her credit report, a credit score does not discriminate against a person because of his or her age, sex, race, religion, nationality, or marital status. A person’s employment history, salary, occupation, or job title does not have anything to do with calculating a credit score. However, a lender may consider this information if it is provided. Also a credit report cannot report if a person has or ever had any form of public assistance.
Another argument that arises often is that there is no way to improve a score and that a person will always have a bad score. A credit score is not concrete; there are many steps that can be taken to improve a credit score. You can start ("Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System," n.d.) by checking your credit report for any errors, and if there are any, dispute them. Make larger payments on credit cards. By making larger payments you are paying down the amount due faster. Stop using credit cards for a while; this will allow you to pay the debt down. Make all of your monthly payments in full and on time, with every payment made it will reflect positively on your score. Be sure to address any collections head on. Finally create a credit monitoring plan. Once you have taken the steps to improve your credit score you should keep a close eye on it. Bad credit scoring does not haunt a person forever ("Credit Score," 2004-2011).
Credit scores are a fair measure to help lenders estimate potential risk because a consumer builds his or her own credit score. A score is based off of their own choices and credit monitoring skills. A person with a low credit score as a result of not making payments in full or on time, outstanding debt, and an outrageous debt to income ratio, should not be approved for a loan or any line of credit.
Overall, the essay argues that credit scores are a fair measure used by lenders to estimate potential risk. The essay explains what a credit score is, how it is calculated, and the factors that contribute to it. It also addresses common arguments against the use of credit scores, such as their potential for discrimination and the belief that a low score cannot be improved.
To improve the essay, here are some suggestions:
1. Introduction: Provide a more engaging and attention-grabbing opening to draw the reader in. This could be done by introducing a thought-provoking statistic or providing a real-life example to illustrate the importance of credit scores.
2. Clarity and conciseness: Some sentences and paragraphs can be rephrased or condensed to improve clarity and flow. Consider simplifying complex sentences and avoiding redundancy. For example, the paragraph discussing the five steps used in reporting on a credit report can be organized more clearly and concisely.
3. Supporting evidence: Include specific examples or statistics to support the points made. For instance, mention research studies or industry experts that highlight the effectiveness and accuracy of credit scores in predicting risk.
4. Counterarguments: Address potential counterarguments more explicitly and provide stronger rebuttals. For example, when discussing the argument that a low score should count against a person, you could provide specific strategies or evidence that demonstrate how individuals can improve their credit score over time.
5. Conclusion: Create a stronger and more impactful conclusion that summarizes the main points made and emphasizes the overall argument. Consider leaving the reader with a closing thought or recommendation related to credit score management.
Lastly, it is important to have someone review your essay in detail to provide feedback on grammar, punctuation, and overall coherence of the content.