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Literature(thesis)

I am writing a synthesizing essay on invisible man by Ellison and on go tell it the mountain by James Baldwin. Please tell me what you think of my thesis. I am writing about racism( this how I am trying to connect the two books)

African Americans have always had hardships and struggles in their lives, so in order to reach the top of the ladder they must be kind to one another and break the racial stereotypes that perceive them as invisible. African American can improve their lifestyle by not manipulating one another for their own selfish satisfaction needs, instead unite, and not allow whites to take advantage or disrespect them.
please make any change to improve!!

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lawerence

  1. That first sentence is more of a lead-in, right? It's the second (run-on) that's supposed to be the thesis?

    Suggestions:
    African-Americans can improve their lifestyles by not manipulating one another for their own selfish satisfaction needs; instead, they should unite and not allow anyone else to take advantage of or show disrespect to them.

    Please read carefully. I've made some major and minor changes. Let us know if you have further questions.

    =)

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    Writeacher

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