English composition

We do not allow capital punishment in this ideal land, for criminals should have time to repent in jail. In the long run, there would be many people who changed and become good people in the prison. Opponents of the capital punishment argue that capital punish can not diminish murders and in some cases people who didn't commit can be involved in the capital punishment and experience death. Most European countries do not have capital punishment. Canada, Australia, and New Zealand do not have capital punishment. However many asian countries and The USA has capital punishment. In this ideal land, we want to lee peacefully. So to make a community free from criminal, the government will do its best. No capital punishment will be enacted in the community.
We need censorship in the international community to protect the family and the society. Books, plays, films, radio and television programs, and some other forms of media influence people in the community. After censorship the government will let inhabitants watch or listen to them. Then this community will be an ideal land.
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I made a composition. Would you check it, please? Do I use correct articles?

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  1. We do not allow capital punishment in this ideal land<~~what "ideal land"?, for criminals should have time to repent in jail. In the long run, there would be many people who change and become good people in the<~~delete "the" prison. Opponents of the<~~delete "the" capital punishment argue that capital punishment can not diminish murders<~~add comma and in some cases people who didn't commit murder can be wrongly put to death. Most European countries do not have capital punishment. Canada, Australia, and New Zealand do not have capital punishment. However<~~add comma many Asian countries and The<~~no capital "t" USA has<~~should be "have" since you have a plural subject ("Asian countries" and "the USA") capital punishment. In this ideal land<~~??, we want to lee<~~?? peacefully. So to make a community free from criminals, the government will do its best. No capital punishment will be enacted in the community.

    We need censorship in the international community to protect the family and the society. Books, plays, films, radio<~~add comma and television programs, as well as some other forms of media<~~add comma influence people in the community. After censorship<~~add comma the government will let inhabitants watch or listen to them.I don't understand the ideas in this sentence. Then this community will be an ideal land.

    Comma uses:
    http://www.uottawa.ca/academic/arts/writcent/hypergrammar/comma.html
    (especially 1, 2, and 3)

    Articles (a, an, the):
    (Broken Link Removed)

    Let me know if there's anything you don't understand.

    =)

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    Writeacher
  2. We do not allow capital punishment in this ideal land for criminals should have time to repent in jail. In the long run, there would be many people who change and become good people in prison. Opponents of capital punishment argue that capital punishment can not diminish murders, and in some cases people who didn't commit murder can be wrongly put to death. Most European countries do not have capital punishment. Canada, Australia, and New Zealand do not have capital punishment. However, many Asian countries and the USA have capital punishment. In this international community, we want to live peacefully. So to make a community free from criminals, the government will do its best. No capital punishment will be enacted in the community. We need censorship in the international community to protect the family and the society. Books, plays, films, radio, and television programs, as well as some other forms of media, influence people in the community. After censorship, the government will let inhabitants watch or listen to the programs. Then this community will be an ideal land.

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    Thank you. According to your guidance, I corrected errors and changes some.
    See you next time.

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  3. cannot = one word, not two

    Suggested revisions here:
    Most European countries -- as well as Canada, Australia, and New Zealand -- do not have capital punishment. However, many Asian countries and the USA do have capital punishment.

    In this international community, we want to live peacefully, so to make a community free from criminals, the government will do its best.

    Revisions include sentence combining and the use of "do" for emphasis.

    (Broken Link Removed)

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    Writeacher

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