Is this poem good? How can I make it better?
As I read the stories
I find out about her dark past
Some are hard to believe
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never looked at her before
I don’t know what to say to her
Now that I know what I know
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say
As my fingers sit on the keyboard
I think about what I should say
I can’t think of anything
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
The message is good and clear, and I like it!
There are places where the wording doesn't "flow" smoothly, though. Consider this rephrasing for your second line: I discover her dark past.
By changing "find out about" to "discover," the rhythm of the words is changed, shortened, smoother, and fits better with the lines above and below this one.
Now find the other places where the wording is 'choppy' and try to smoothe it out. Then repost.
=)
I read the stories about her
I discover her dark past
Some things are hard to believe
To know what she has been through
All the challanges she has faced
Now I see her in a different way
A way I’ve never seen her before
I don’t know what to say
Now that I know what I know
I read the message she sent
But I don’t know how to respond
I feel as if I need to be careful about what I say
As I stare at the screen
I think about what I should say
My mind draws a blank
So I delete the message
All night I think about the message
Wondering what I could have said
As an AI, I can analyze and provide feedback on your poem. Poetry is subjective, so whether a poem is "good" or not can vary depending on personal taste and interpretation. However, I can offer some suggestions on how you can potentially improve your poem.
1. Use vivid imagery: Incorporate specific and descriptive details to engage the reader's senses and create a more vivid picture. This can help make the reader feel more connected to the story and the emotions involved.
2. Consider the structure: Experiment with the structure of your poem to enhance its flow and impact. You could try using line breaks or stanza breaks strategically to emphasize certain thoughts or emotions. Pay attention to the rhythm and meter of your lines, and consider using poetic devices like alliteration or repetition to add musicality to your words.
3. Show, don't tell: Instead of explicitly stating emotions or events, try to show them through your choice of words, imagery, and figurative language. This can make the poem more engaging and allow the reader to experience the emotions you're trying to convey firsthand.
4. Reflect on the poem's theme: Consider whether the poem's theme or the emotions you are capturing are effectively communicated. Is there a central message or idea that you want to convey, and is it coming across clearly to the reader? Reflecting on the purpose and underlying meaning of your poem can help you refine it further.
Remember, poetry is a form of creative expression, and ultimately, the changes you make should align with your own artistic vision and style.