paragraph help

On December 5th, 1989, in Hydrabad, India, I was born to two loving and caring parents, Dilip and Syamala Krishnagiri. When I was born, my parents were living in a tiny apartment, struggling to make ends meet. This was the place where I learned how to crawl and walk. We lived in Hyderabad, where my dad managed to find a job as a software engineer. I grew up in Hyderabad till second grade, and during this time, I was a typical kid—going to school and hanging out with friends When my dad found a better job, my family moved yet again—this time to the United States…and, so, began another phase of my life. Arriving in the United States was both exciting and terrifying. I could not comprehend the fact that I had left behind my friends, my home—basically, everything I had ever known. I was shocked at the seemingly impossible task of building a new home and life in California. Gradually, however, I overcame my fears and began the task of settling in. Shortly thereafter, it was time for me to start school. Naturally, I was anxious, and the fact that I could not speak English fluently did not help. At first, I struggled to adjust to the life here, including the school system, which seemed so new and bizarre to me that I sometimes felt overwhelmed. However, slowly learned English and adapted to my new life. However, my life in U.S. hasn’t stopped me from growing familiar with my Indian culture and festivals. I believe my diversity can bring a positive influence on the campus ....


i want to say how my diversity and my knowledge of my culture will be a benefit to the campus of an university.

what kind of stuff would i say. how would my diversity be useful.

can you help me so i can finish my paragraph.

I'll try *puts up hand*
Here I go

I believe my diversity can bring a positive influence on campus of a university because i can show a different way cultures live and see life to other people who may have not had a second thought on India and its cultures.

There that's the best i can do, im only year 8 and I have s+e hoemwork to do.

In addition to the response above, you could add that you would be able to assist others who have moved to the US from India or other countries as they learn to adjust to this culture.

Watch your use of dashes and ellipses. Better to use colons and periods when appropriate. Too many dashes (and ellipses used incorrectly) smack of a level of informality I don't think you want to put across.

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/dash.htm

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/ellipsis.htm

=)

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