can you please help me correct these sentances so it sounds better.

During sunset the sun falls and an evening star progressively emerges. To the poet, this event may symbolize the rising of the dead from earth and entering of the soul to heaven.

i want make this entence more advanced... but i don't know how...

please help me THANKYOU!

At sunset, the sun falls and an evening star progressively emerges. To the poet, this event may symbolize the dead rising from earth and the soul entering heaven.

Sra