Here it is. I still haven't come up with a wow ending sentence.

Do I need to change my thesis statement in the 1st paragraph? I did change it in the last.

I awake very groggy, to find myself on this very remote island with not a person in sight. Attached to my shirt is a letter written by my English teacher Ms. Barlett stating that I was heading down the wrong path to a life of destruction, and this behavior needed to change. My mother had died a year ago, and Ms. Barlett a really kind hearted and devoted teacher knew this from several writing pieces that I had submitted online. She knew I was a young man in trouble, but it was this one particular writing that had alarmed her. It was at this moment that I realized the reason for having been sent to this whole new environment and now had to learn a new way of survival.

Somehow I found myself on a remote island known as the Isle of Mull off the west coast of Scotland. I began to investigate the environment around me with the magnificent mountain scenery, raised beaches, rich grasslands, beautiful flowering hsia, blue poppies and many more other wonderful plants. Walking on the soft beaches you could hear birds chirping and singing, and there was even a porpoise far off in the distance of the water. After several hours of exploring the land I realized that I was the only human on the island. I decided to head back to the spot where I had first begun, and there is where I discovered the suitcase.

Not sure how I was going to survive this ordeal I decided to open the suitcase hoping to find a cell phone. Upon opening the suitcase I found many of the items I once used in boy scouts, which was a few months before my mother’s death. The folding pocket knife, nylon twine, saw, axe, fishing kit, utensils, bucket, and of course the book ‘Survival, A Manual That Could Save Your Life” were all there, but no cell phone. These items were all going to be very valuable to me to survive this ordeal. It was at this moment I realized that I now had to somehow feed myself as well as look for a good place to create a shelter for the night.

After about an hour of searching for a place to build my shelter, I was able to find a spot that had a slight overhang of rock to help protect me from the rain and wind. I knew that I needed to collect enough branches and leaves to protect me from the elements of nightfall. I then set out to look for fresh water to drink and ways to obtain food to eat. Not knowing how long I was going to be stranded on this island, I needed to make sure that I had all of these things in place before nightfall. Alone, scared and not sure of how I would survive, I began to reflect on my life experiences and soon realized that I could achieve anything.

No one would ever have guessed that I would have survived in an unknown environment using the survival practices I had learned. Whoever thought as troubled as I was that I could find peace on this deserted island? Three years have passed and I have created a very comfortable and safe place for myself. I am the only human being on this island, but with all of the birds and animals I feel surrounded by love and peace.

Verb tenses: You began with the verbs in present tense and then switched to past tense somewhere. Go through the whole paper and make sure all verbs are in past tense.

Rephrase so there are no instances of "you."

Study these comma uses, and then go through the paper making corrections:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm

Then re-post, and we'll work on the wordiness.

After you make corrections, put it aside for the night.

Work on it some more tomorrow.

Good night!

Okay, Thanks!!

Based on the provided text, it seems that your thesis statement is not explicitly stated in the first paragraph. The first paragraph sets up the background and introduces the situation you find yourself in, but it does not clearly state the purpose or argument of your writing.

To determine if you need to change your thesis statement in the first paragraph, you should consider the overall structure and organization of your essay. Ask yourself:

1. Is your thesis statement clear and specific? Does it accurately convey the main argument or purpose of your essay?
2. Does your thesis statement align with the content of your essay? Does it capture the main ideas and themes that you discuss?
3. Is the placement of your thesis statement effective? Does it adequately prepare the reader for the rest of the essay?

If your current thesis statement adequately meets these criteria, you may not need to change it in the first paragraph. However, if your thesis statement is missing or is not clearly stated, it is advisable to revise and include it in the introduction. A strong thesis statement helps guide your essay and provides a clear focus for your writing.

In the last paragraph, you mention that it has been three years and you have created a comfortable and safe place for yourself. If this is the main point or conclusion that you want to highlight in your essay, it might be a good idea to revise your thesis statement in the first paragraph to reflect this. Your revised thesis statement could emphasize the personal growth, transformation, or survival skills you have developed during your time on the island.

Remember, the thesis statement is a crucial element of your essay as it sets the tone, purpose, and direction of your writing. Take the time to ensure that it accurately represents the content and argument of your essay.