Here is my first paragraph of my essay:
Imagine being 6’3” in the eighth grade and everyone in the school making comments about your size. There are definitely advantages and disadvantages to being tall. My best friend’s mother found a quote written by Bill Walton that read: Hey, this is me, I’m this way and I’m going to make the best of my life and I’m not going to let other peoples hang-ups about me restrict my life.” It was at this time that I began to rethink why I had such a lack of confidence about my size. The social awkwardness that I was so self conscious of in elementary school made me very insecure with being taller than my peers, but eventually in high school the basketball scholarships offers that led to the free education were advantages of learning to cope with my height.
Hey, this is me;...to avoid a run-on sentence
other people's hang-ups
Is it your "size" or your "height?"
Sra
It is my height. Other than your corrections, how does it sound?
Your first paragraph introduces the topic of being tall and the advantages and disadvantages that come with it. It also mentions how a quote by Bill Walton helped you reconsider your lack of confidence regarding your size. Additionally, you discuss the social awkwardness you faced in elementary school due to being taller than your peers, but highlight how coping with your height eventually led to basketball scholarship offers in high school.
Overall, your first paragraph effectively sets the stage for further exploration of your personal experiences and reflections on being tall. It introduces the central theme of your essay while offering a glimpse into your journey towards embracing your height.
To further develop your essay, consider expanding on the following points:
1. Elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of being tall: Explore the specific benefits and drawbacks you have personally encountered or observed in relation to your height. Provide examples and anecdotes to support your points.
2. Discuss the impact of the quote by Bill Walton: Explain how this quote resonated with you and prompted you to reevaluate your confidence. Reflect on how it influenced your mindset and approach to dealing with other people's perceptions of your height.
3. Explore the process of overcoming social insecurities: Dive deeper into your experience of feeling self-conscious in elementary school due to your height. Discuss the challenges you faced and the steps you took to become more secure in yourself and your physical appearance.
4. Highlight the impact of basketball scholarships: Share how the opportunities presented by basketball scholarships helped you find value in your height and ultimately led to a positive outcome. Discuss the lessons learned and personal growth achieved through the pursuit of these scholarships.
By expanding on these points, you can provide a more comprehensive and engaging essay that delves into your personal journey of self-acceptance and the role your height played in shaping your experiences.