here's my progress so far . . i need help badly on 2nd paragraph
Copycat Crime
According to P.H. ferguson, The U.s supreme court is blaming holywood for making mind boggling movies that lead the viewers to be "natural born killers.
watching movies affects people actions to change their atittudes to commit such crimes. for many reasons, a movie is not enough to change a person's attitude and make them commit a crime.
first of all, not all movies have negative impacts.
Also, movies changed my life in a good way. I will never forget the movie "Click" starring Adam Sandler. The movie is about a man who is workaholic and under stress, trying to give his priority to work and neglecting the family issues. When he went to a mall to buy a t.v remote control, a sales clerk offered him a remote control that is capable of controlling his own universe.
He uses the remote too much and loses the control of the device. Then he sees the worthwhile parts of his personal life he missed while he is working, and in the end of his life he lately concludes that family comes first. It is a powerful movie that changed the way i think about life.
I also learned from this movie that life is too short to miss out the things that really important and matter most. Lastly, this movie has opened my heart and reminded me that family is really important , and I need to spend time with them always.
However, U.S. supreme court believes that crimes happen because of the violent movies but the truth is they are only using this as an alibi. There are lots of different kinds of movies and not all of them express violence.
"mind boggling"?? I think that isn't the right word for this paper. I think you need to use "extremely violent" instead.
"watching movies affects people actions to change their atittudes to commit such crimes. for many reasons, a movie is not enough to change a person's attitude and make them commit a crime."
These two sentences contradict each other. You need to state who believes each one.
"first of all, not all movies have negative impacts." This cannot be a paragraph by itself. It also echoes the second sentence above. Find a way to combine these two repetitive sentences.
"Also, movies changed my life in a good way. I will never forget the movie 'Click' starring Adam Sandler. The movie is about a man who is workaholic and under stress, trying to give his priority to work and neglecting the family issues. When he went to a mall to buy a t.v remote control, a sales clerk offered him a remote control that is capable of controlling his own universe.
He uses the remote too much and loses the control of the device. Then he sees the worthwhile parts of his personal life he missed while he is working, and in the end of his life he lately concludes that family comes first. It is a powerful movie that changed the way i think about life.
I also learned from this movie that life is too short to miss out the things that really important and matter most. Lastly, this movie has opened my heart and reminded me that family is really important , and I need to spend time with them always."
These cannot be separate paragraphs. They need to be all together in ONE paragraph.
"However, U.S. supreme court believes that crimes happen because of the violent movies..." Are you sure? The US Supreme Court believes that ALL crimes happen because of ALL the violent movies?? If you write this, you'd better have a very credible citation for this.
"There are lots of different kinds of movies and not all of them express violence." This sentence is odd. You are stating something obvious -- that not all movies are violent -- but that's not the focus of your paper.
Keep going -- revise, revise, revise.
And then be ready for proofreading, but not until you have the content all straightened out.
"alibi" <~~not the right word for this sentence. http://www.answers.com/alibi
To improve the second paragraph, you can expand on why not all movies have negative impacts. Here's a suggested revision:
"First of all, it is important to acknowledge that not all movies have negative impacts on viewers. While there certainly are movies that contain violence or depict criminal behavior, there are also countless films that explore other themes such as love, friendship, adventure, or personal growth. These movies can be highly influential in a positive way, shaping our perspective on life and providing valuable life lessons.
For instance, one movie that positively impacted my life was "Click" starring Adam Sandler. This film tells the story of a workaholic man who neglects his family and prioritizes his career. Through a magical remote control, he gains the ability to control time and realizes the importance of cherishing his loved ones. This movie deeply resonated with me and taught me the significance of balancing work and personal life. It emphasized that family should always come first.
Furthermore, movies like "Click" have the power to open our hearts, inspire us, and encourage personal growth. They remind us of the things that truly matter in life and encourage us to prioritize our relationships and experiences over materialistic pursuits.
Therefore, it is unfair to solely blame violent movies for the occurrence of crimes. While violent movies may exist, they are just one small part of the vast and diverse film industry. It is important to consider the wide range of movies available and the various positive impacts they can have on individuals."