i don't understand what u said, writeteacher. can you show me? Can u proofread and show me how to fix me my writing?
Philip Malloy
Have you ever watched the movie? In the story, “Nothing but the truth,” by Avi, a boy named Philip Malloy had many traits to describe his character in the story. Philip Malloy was a funny person and a stubborn person.
There are many ways Philip was a funny boy. He cracked so many jokes that could’ve been serious, but they were too funny to be serious. He tried to be the class clown and make known for everyone to see him during his English teacher class, Miss Narwin. For example, when he said, “Girls go for guys that win,” (pg.3). That boy tried to made a joke by saying that.
Another trait that can describe Philip Malloy is stubborn. Philip was very into himself, he thought only of him, and what’s best for him. An example to describe stubborn is, “Studying is boring,” (pg, 7). He doesn’t know studying is boring, if he just takes a look at his friends that loves studying that want to be the best student and person they can be in the world. He would take notice and be someone when he gets older.
As you can see, two traits that caught my attention of the ninth-grade boy, Philip Malloy are funny and stubborn. He likes to be a comedian, but he sure knows, that he thinks of no one, but himself. Funny people have lots of jokes to make people laugh. Stubborn people get you nowhere. Does this person fit you too?
Have you ever watched the movie? In the story, “Nothing but the truth,” by Avi, a boy named Philip Malloy had many traits to describe his character in the story. Philip Malloy was a funny person and a stubborn person.
Opening an introduction with a question is not a bad idea, but to ask a question that seems incomplete is strange. What movie? Oh, I see. It's named in the NEXT sentence. So ... how can you fix this and still keep the first sentence as a question?
Also, I have underlined the second part of the second sentence because it needs major rewording; it's repetitive, and you need to revise it so there's no repetition at all.
There are many ways Philip was a funny boy. He cracked so many jokes that what could’ve been serious, but they were too funny to be serious. He tried to be the class clown and make known for everyone to see him during his English teacher class, Miss Narwin. For example, when he said, “Girls go for guys that win,” (pg.3). <~~That's still a fragment. That boy tried to made a joke by saying that. It's still not clear why that's funny. You need to explain that.
Also, I have underlined places in this paragraph that need rewording. They don't make sense. Read them aloud to someone or ask someone to read it aloud to you. You should HEAR the problems and know what to do.
Another of Philip's traits is his stubbornness. Philip was very into himself,<~~run-on he thought only of him, and what’s best for him.<~~reflexive pronouns needed here An example to describe stubborn is, “Studying is boring,” (pg, 7). Stubbornness and being bored are two completely different things. I'm not making the connection at all. ~~ Oh, my!! ~~>He doesn’t know studying is boring, if he just takes a look at his friends that loves studying that want to be the best student and person they can be in the world. <~~I can't figure out if that is a terribly long fragment or a couple of run-ons! He would take notice and be someone <~~Isn't he already someone? Isn't he a person? when he gets older.
As you can see, two traits that caught my attention of the ninth-grade boy, Philip Malloy<~~add comma are funny and stubborn<~~What are the noun forms of "funny" and "stubborn" --you need nouns here because you wrote "traits" above. He likes to be a comedian, but he sure knows,<~~delete comma that he thinks of no one,<~~delete comma but himself. Funny people have lots of jokes to make people laugh. Stubborn people get you nowhere. Does this person fit you too?
how can you rephrase this last part and NOT use any forms of "you"?
To get rid of wordiness and redundancy/repetition:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html
To fix run-ons:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/punct/csfsro.html
To fix fragments:
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/punct/fragmentcauses.html
Reflexive pronouns:
http://web2.uvcs.uvic.ca/elc/studyzone/330/grammar/reflex.htm
Sure, I can help you proofread and fix your writing. Here's a revised version of your text:
Title: Philip Malloy
Have you ever watched the movie "Nothing but the Truth" based on the novel by Avi? The story follows a boy named Philip Malloy, who possesses distinct character traits. Philip is both funny and stubborn.
Philip's sense of humor is evident throughout the story. He constantly cracks jokes, often blurring the line between seriousness and humor. An example of this is when he jokingly tells his classmates during his English teacher Miss Narwin's class, "Girls go for guys that win" (pg. 3). Philip enjoys being the class clown and making others laugh.
On the other hand, Philip can also be described as stubborn. He is very self-centered and focuses solely on what he believes is best for himself. An example of his stubbornness is when he claims, "Studying is boring" (pg. 7). If Philip were to observe his friends who enjoy studying and strive to become the best versions of themselves academically and personally, he might reconsider his perspective and strive for personal growth.
In summary, Philip Malloy, a ninth-grade boy, exhibits both a humorous side and stubborn tendencies. While his jokes bring laughter, his self-centeredness may hinder his progress. Take a moment to reflect, does this character trait resonate with you as well?
Proofreading tips:
1. Capitalize the first letters of proper nouns and book titles ("Nothing but the Truth," "Avi," "Philip Malloy").
2. Ensure correct punctuation at the end of sentences and within quotations.
3. Double-check spelling and grammar, such as using "made" instead of "made" in the sentence about Philip's joke.
I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any further questions.